10 Weird Ways Guys Flirt With You (That You're Probably Not Picking Up On)

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how to tell if he's flirting with you

I have been called the King-Queen of Obliviousness when it comes to figuring out if men are interested in me.  

There have been many, many occasions in which I have gone on dates that I didn’t actually realize were dates until the guy tried to kiss me. There have also been quite a few moments where I have mistaken men who were interested in dating me for being gay, and times where I set up said men with other guys, not realizing they wanted to date me.

RELATED: How To Flirt Your A** Off And Make Him Fall For You In A Flash

My dating burnout has had a major effect on this issue, too. Ever since my belief in having someone get butterfly-inducing love feels for me died, it’s gotten worse. Way worse. To the point that it’s caused meltdowns in guys, and I’ve had to have friends explain to me what’s going on in front of the poor guy. I can’t help it, either; it just doesn’t register anymore.

While I find this all funny nowadays, the truth is that I’m not alone in being oblivious to male attention. Lots of girls, including those on the prowl, miss many of the ways guys flirt.

Here's how to tell if he's flirting with you that most women don’t pick up on, according to my friends who typically instruct me on when a guy is hitting on me. Have you missed signals around you?  

1. He's following you around and not saying anything.

There are some men out there who just haven’t gotten to the point that they can be comfortable enough to talk to girls. They want to pursue girls but simply won’t have the courage to actually say anything to them. So, they end up following them around like sad little puppies hoping the girl will say something first. Obviously, this doesn’t work very well and just makes the dude look like a stalker.

2. He whines about not having a girlfriend to you.

Actually, most girls can tell that this is a form of flirting... I think. Even so, if you aren’t sure what’s up, most guys will not complain to a girl about being single unless they’re hoping that the girl will help them not be single anymore.

(Note: I’m not saying this is a sexy or even healthy way to flirt. I’m just saying some guys will try this.)

3. He talks about how he would be such a good boyfriend to the right girl.

Yes, this is classic Nice Guy behavior. Yes, most men do this when they are desperate for any girl to talk to them. However, it’s also a way guys flirt that most women don’t pick up on.

4. He tries to ruin your chances with other men.

Yes, I’ve had this happen with guys. Yes, it’s just as sick and messed up as it sounds. Yes, they somehow think this constitutes as flirting. No, I’d never date them — not even if they were the last guys on earth. If you get the feeling that a guy would do this to you, RUN. He’s not all there.

5. He asks you for help in a career field.

This happened to several of my friends, who all were willing to talk shop... only to realize that the guy in question had absolutely no interest in career assistance from them. It’s just as infuriating and demeaning as you’d expect it to be, and no, it doesn’t work. (It’s also happened to me, too. It’s bad.)

6. He talks about how much money he makes.

Yes, this is a thing some guys do, especially when they don’t think they have anything else to offer. I’ve seen this happen with female friends and just assumed that the guy in question was just really money-oriented. I then asked what tax software they’d suggest, only to be informed by my friends that he was flirting. The guy left.

RELATED: 7 Subtle Ways Shy People Flirt (So Pay Attention!)

7. He holds doors open for you.

It’s classic Nice Guy behavior, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen. A lot of men seem to think that doing polite gestures counts as flirting and then are really shocked when girls don’t pick up on their moves.

8. He does stupid stunts to impress you.

This is how some (usually young) guys try to impress girls, often through physical feats they can’t do without accruing new hospital bills. If you notice grievous injuries, then he probably was trying to impress a girl with something idiotic.

9. He acts terribly to others in front of you.

Perhaps one of the easiest ways to lose a girl’s attention is also one of the most ridiculous ways guys try to flirt with girls. Some guys actually will be purposefully rude to the waiters in a bar, or even the girl they’re interested in, just in hopes that they’ll appear “Alpha” to girls.

Though it's a dead giveaway for how to tell if he's flirting with you, if he’s acting like a jerk while talking about how awesome he is, this is probably what he’s doing.

10. He does the "sensitive dad" act.

A lot of guys with kids will make a point of trying to show how awesome they are in front of women they find attractive. I call this Babystalking because, in reality, it usually involves them following around a clueless woman with a baby while doing the Ultra Dad routine. After all, women are supposed to like babies, right? 

Watch the video below for tips on how to flirt using science:


Ossiana Tepfenhart is a Jack-of-all-trades writer based out of Red Bank, New Jersey. When she's not writing, she's drinking red wine and chilling with some cool cats. You can follow her @bluntandwitty on Twitter.

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