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"What do you think the psychology behind giving or receiving facials is?"
By Elizabeth Z Pardue — Written on Sep 12, 2017
I'm back for round three, answering those not-so-socially-acceptable questions men have about women and sex, and what women think about sex, but are afraid to pose IRL.
As always, I'm just one woman with her own nuanced preferences and opinion in a sea of millions, so I can't speak on behalf of every lady out there, but I do my best to answer what I can, thus bridging the gap of ignorance between the genders and allowing us to live in blissful harmony. I'm doing important work here. I'll take my Pulitzer now.
(ICYMI, here's part one and part two.)
1. Have you ever wanted to watch your partner masturbate?
As long as it’s a mutual masturbation scenario. Honestly, watching anyone touch themselves never did anything for me regardless of their relationship to me. If I’m going to watch something, I want it to either be interactive or for the subject to be interacting with someone else.
2. Do most women enjoy a marathon or does it become too much after awhile?
Most women absolutely appreciate a break. Even if we’re under the influence of something to aid our stamina, non-stop thrusting becomes painful and problematic after a few hours and can lead to all sorts of health complications. Plus, no matter how great it feels, after too long, fatigue sets in and we just want to wrap things up, if only to recharge for round two.
If you’re hoping for a “marathon,” plan to incorporate some down time, a change of venues, and a handful of other activities at different paces so your woman isn’t rubbed raw.
3. Is there an appropriate way to "request" oral sex, or just take it when it comes?
The best way to request it is to give it first. If you’re just hoping to get oral sex à la carte, you better wait until it’s offered lest you look like a selfish jerk.
4. What do you think the psychology behind giving or receiving facials is? What do you think about them? And what do women generally feel about them? Do you think they just let it happen to please their partner or do you think it can be a mutually enjoyable thing?
I have yet to meet any woman who genuinely enjoys getting a facial simply for tactile purposes. Literally, nobody out there is squealing to their friends about how great a guy can ejaculate on her face; although, I have met women who swear semen makes their skin tighter and better.
That’s not to say some women don’t enjoy it from a purely psychological standpoint. The psychology of this fetish is primal in nature. As pornography has moved into the digital age, the trends for dominance, humiliation, and degradation have become prominent trends on camera as well as in real life, and shooting semen all over a beautiful woman’s face is a literal form of “marking territory” as well as subjecting a woman to his carnal desires at the expense of her dignity.
Having a man squirt the equivalent of warm mayo on any part of our bodies isn’t pleasurable in and of itself, but many women enjoy the feeling of being dominated, and that’s where the enjoyment comes from. That said, just like anal and pegging, tons of women have just agreed to do it to please their partners but don’t enjoy it at all. This is one of those things you should get consent on in advance.
5. Lights on or off?
Off but with lots of mood lighting — candles, those pink salt lamps, fairy lights, moonlight. I like an ambient glow. And while I'd like to say I'm not picky, few things dry me out quicker than yellow or fluorescent overhead lighting.
6. Is analingus really that popular of a sex act, or is it just something people make references to as a joke or that we mostly see in porn movies? Plus, isn't that a very unsanitary thing to do with your mouth in the heat of the moment or anytime for that manner?
Tossing salad has always been on the menu even though it really took off in the public consciousness only in the last decade or so. I’m not going to say everyone’s into it, but rimming is a lot like smoking pot: a LOT more people are doing it than you thought when you were younger. And frankly, it’s on my “List of Things Everyone Should Try At Least Once” because it’s pretty great.
Obviously, it can get gross if neither party planned to have someone’s mouth on their pooper in the heat of the moment, but there are always ways to work around that with wipes, dental dams, or mouth rinse. Your best bet for dipping your toe into these waters is to communicate your desire to try this to your partner in advance so you’re both clean and prepped. If a team meeting seems too sterile and regimented to incorporate rimming organically, you could try it in the shower after you help them clean and prune the area of interest.
7. Can men and woman truly be friends or is everyone you enjoy hanging around with just a "backup"?
Whoa, dude. That’s an awfully cynical question that also presumes I/women have a lot more power over my/our male friends than I/we actually do, especially the gay ones... or the happily married, monogamous ones. Subjective nuances aside, I crunched some numbers to provide objective feedback.
Out of all the men in my routinely-pruned Facebook friends list, I have only had any more-than-platonic attraction to 31.7 percent of them, which includes the 7.12 percent of them I have been full-on enamored with, and the 3.9 percent with whom I have been sexually or romantically involved with. That means that 68.3 percent of the men I call my friends aren’t on my more-than-friends radar and are genuinely kept around because I enjoy their company with no further expectation or agenda. These percentages are similar regarding the men I privately text, DM, or hang out with in real life as well.
8. In your expert opinion, is there any place REALLY off limits for sex? By that I mean, elevators, offices, public bathroom, etc.
Again, I can’t speak for all women, but there are places I absolutely cannot and/or will not have sex: Maternity or oncology wards, funerals, children’s nurseries, abandoned hospitals, Train concerts, needle exchanges, next to dumpsters, crowded subways, crack/trap houses, or war or genocide memorials. Everywhere else is fair game.
Check out the video below to find out the top two things you need in order to have good sex:
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Liz Pardue-Schultz is a writer and activist based in North Carolina, where she overshares her bizarre journey through mental illness, recovery, parenting, and surviving Southern suburbia on her blog or anywhere she can get published. Her words have appeared in Huffington Post, Time.com, XOJane, Ravishly, ThoughtCatalog, and one time in the Letters to the Editor section of Playboy.
