10 Ways To Flirt With A New Guy (Without Looking Desperate)

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how to flirt with a guy without looking desperate

If there’s one thing I’ve been guilty of when I dated, it was looking desperate. Primarily because I was desperate. That being said, I’ve learned how to flirt with a guy without looking desperate over the years.

Guys like girls who make the first move, and if you use these techniques, they’ll thank their lucky stars you were that bold.

1. Ask him for help, then compliment him on his skills.

It does not matter what the thing you need help with is. Asking for help with anything, even if it’s something as dumb as finding the local milkshake store, will work as a spectacular ice breaker. It also allows you to give him the opportunity to show himself off, which will make him totally happy if he’s interested.

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2. Make it very clear you’re checking him out using your eyes.

Guys can and will notice if you’re checking them out with a stare. To make this move work, eye him up until he notices, then quickly turn away and make a blushing gesture. More often than not, they’ll get the hint and talk to you.

3. Reverse friend-zone him.

Most guys get ticked about girls who seem flirty but just want to “be friends.” Turn this on its ear by approaching the guy you like as a friend... then slowly ramp up the heat.

4. Come up with a random excuse to get his number and chat with him.

“Yeah, I totally need your number since we’re now neighbors. Question, do you know any good bars around here?” Yes, it works like a charm, even if it’s cheesy.

5. If you legit want to see if he’s cool first, approach him in a warm, friendly manner.

Don’t involve touching. Just converse with him as you would a gay friend. Rather, take your time to get a feel first, then slowly prolong eye contact and smile until he gets the hint.

6. Invite him for a movie night.

Most guys will get the “Netflix and chill” vibe and be down for it. From there, make a point of not being the one who gets sexual first; make him work for it. If you really wanna be subtle, invite him to movie night with your friends and then, later on, invite him to a one on one deal.

7. If you’re at the club, have a great time on the dance floor.

Guys love a girl who can dance. The funny thing about this is that most men will want to talk to a girl who’s clearly dancing and enjoying herself. A girl who’s having a fun time is not a girl who is desperate — and yes, guys know that. After talking and laughing it up with others, invite the guy out on the dance floor and you’re good to go.

8. Compliment his hair or style.

Most guys are always dying to hear a compliment. Most girls do not realize this, either. You actually telling them that they look good will make their week is how to flirt with a guy without looking desperate and will also get you a fast-track to their hearts.

RELATED: 5 Girly Things You Do That Men Find SUPER Attractive

9. Ask for his opinion on something and use that as an ice breaker.

Most guys are “hip to the jive” on this one, and will be able to get the hint of you regularly ask for his opinion. A good way to get him talking is to ask him his opinion on women’s clothing or even something pop culture-related. Guys like showing their expertise, so this will melt most men’s hearts pretty quickly.

10. Seriously, just go for it. 

Most women do not look desperate unless they are flashing cash or begging guys to date them. As long as you aren't doing that, you should be able to flirt like a pro.

Check out the video below to see the number one mistake you're making when flirting with men:


Ossiana Tepfenhart is a Jack-of-all-trades writer based out of Red Bank, New Jersey. When she's not writing, she's drinking red wine and chilling with some cool cats. You can follow her @bluntandwitty on Twitter.