Photo: WeHeartIt
Everybody's got a hack or two.
By Rebecca Jane Stokes — Written on Jul 24, 2017
There's a very popular misconception when it comes to men and orgasm.
You ready?
It's the idea that men can orgasm easily with or without you every single time they chose to get their proverbial swerve on.
It's just not the case.
Because as a female, we experience orgasms differently. And as such, what we need in order to achieve orgasm is so much different than what men do (and is also almost constantly put on the back burner), so it can be tempting to give into the hype that men accomplish this feat easier than women.
You don't need to do much when it comes to figuring out how to give a man an orgasm: just provide him with the rights orifices and pleasurable noises.
That just ain't true.
Think about it: how much do you resent it when someone makes assumptions about your own sexuality, assumptions about the way women climax? It's annoying, right? It's dismissive, right?
We do the same thing with men when we assume that figuring out how to give a man an orgasm is a no brainer.
I talk to my girlfriends often about the things they do and the things they avoid in order to make sure their boyfriend (or casual hookup) has an orgasm.
With that in mind, I asked them (anonymously, but of course, I don't want them getting fired for talking about orgasms on the internet) and they were happy to oblige me!
Okay ladies, what do you do with your dude to make sure he has an orgasm every time you have sex?
- “I’m a huge fan of wetting my finger (with lube or saliva) and sticking it up his butt. Of course, [I] ask permission. I asked the first time, and now I know that when he needs to orgasm it will help him blast off every single time.”
- “Maintain eye contact, be vocal, keep some clothing on, urge him on with your legs/arms, etc. You're an active participant in this activity; it's a team sport!”
- “I do this thing that's like kegels, only instead of just squeezing his penis, you’re kind of rippling it all around, kinda of milking him. It puts my man over the edge every single time.”
- “I always make sure to play with his testicles.”
- “We always have sex with the lights on. It’s been this way ever since I realized just how important the visual stimulation is for his orgasm.”
- “Sometimes it can take my boyfriend a long time, so long that it can become painful. We discussed it, and now before he penetrates me we practice mutual masturbation as our foreplay. It really helps him expend some of that energy without hurting my vagina.”
- “Dirty talk. 100%. All I need to do is say a couple of words and boom, he’s done.”
Related: 9 Easy Exercises For The Best Orgasm EVER
- “If I’m having sex in the missionary position and I want it over quicker, I just wrap one of my legs around his back and pull him deeper inside of me.”
- “If I can time my own orgasm to come right when I feel like he’s close, it can lead to us having an orgasm at the same time. He loves that.”
- “Weird trick I learned: If I concentrate on my breath, like take slow deep yoga breaths, it does something downstairs that makes him orgasm.”
- “I just grab his nipples. It’s like a button labeled ‘erupt now.'”
- “I’m not a kinky person at all, but now I know if I want his orgasm to be really intense it helps for him to have a cock ring on. It feels great for me too!”
- “Prostate massage.”
- “When I can tell he’s getting close I make him stop. He used to get so mad, but now his orgasms are twice as intense as they’ve ever been before.”
