Self, Sex

30 Things Every Woman Has Probably Done While Naked

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naked women

My entire life I have waged a silent (and at times not so silent) war with my naked body.

I am not alone. Find a woman, any woman, and the chances are she will tell you that when it comes to confidence and body image, she isn't always kind to herself when it comes to how she evaluates her naked body. 

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Our naked bodies should not be enemies, but neither should they be sterilized, sanitized, and promoted as the ultimate in what is sexy

A woman's naked body isn't a weapon or an object, it's a part of who she is, one she interacts with every single day.

We don't get naked just to please men or to take a shower, we get naked for so many reasons, and when we are naked, we are very often not doing or saying anything dainty, sexy, or cute. 

Our bodies are part of us. They can be sexy, they are beautiful, they are powerful. But, they are also bulky, and imperfect, and clumsy, freckle-specked, and scarred: That is what makes them so exceptional. 

Every naked woman has done one or two things in the nude that they might be embarrassed for people to find out about, but I firmly believe that all these naked pursuits are actually really common.

To that end, behold a list of 30 things all single naked women have done at least once. 

1. Tried to make their boobs swing together like a stripper's. 

2. Seen what your boobs would look like if you got a boob job using only your hands and your imagination. 

3. Cast sultry looks over your own shoulder back into the mirror. 

4. Plucked a stray belly hair. 

5. Sexy danced to Ginuwine's Pony (like there's any other way to dance to that song). 

6. Stared at your own belly button for so long you started thinking there was something wrong with it. 

7. Sucked in your stomach and looked at yourself in silhouette. 

8. Fantasized that the burrito baby in your stomach was a real baby. 

9. Sung at least one show tune. At least. 

10. Clipped your toenails. 

11. Taken one naked picture even if it's just for yourself and you immediately deleted it. 

12. Swore that you looked just as hot as any movie star... in the right lighting. 

13. Considered waist training. 

14. Looked at your own vagina in a mirror and got a little weirded out by it. 

15. Spent way too long working on that ingrown hair on your bikini line. 

16. Shaved your legs while watching reality TV. 

17. Had a glass of wine. 

18. Talked to your pets. 

19. Discover a new mole, panic about that new mole, realize moments later that said mole is actually a piece of chocolate you were sitting on.

20. Pulling your ass skin taut to imagine what you would look like without cellulite. 

21. Re-created a Kim Kardashian nude selfie. 

22. Seduced yourself in the mirror. 

23. Put on makeup just for the hell of it. 

24. Applied fake tanner, followed all the directions, watched 8 million YouTube tutorials, and you're still streaky as hell. 

25. Recreated The Birth of Venus. 


26. Agonized over every last flaw you can find. 

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27. Vigorously swung your bra over your head with a whoop of triumph. 

28. Marveled at how pretty you look after a long day. 

29. Wondered if you could pull off going to a nude beach. 

30. Cleaned up stray cat vomit.