15 Major Differences Between Real Sex Vs. Porn

Photo: Rocketclips, Inc. / Shutterstock
couple looking into each other's eyes
Sex

Porn’s had a weird effect on me throughout the years, really. Mostly, it affected the way I thought sex was supposed to be. It took me a very long time to realize that what goes on in a bedroom doesn’t always look like it was produced by Vivid.

Cringey as it is to admit, in high school, I thought that the be-all and end-all of sexiness was looking like adult film stars and acting like them. The funny thing about this is that experience makes you realize how unrealistic porn really is.

After having been around the block a bunch of times, I realized it’s not all about having makeup shellacked on my face or putting up with stuff I don’t like.

When I look online, I see a lot of people who really, truly believe that porn is a realistic depiction of what kind of sex people are really having. So, at least, I can honestly say I’m not alone in having mistaken porn sex for real sex.

RELATED: What It’s Really Like Working In Porn

That being said, I want to clear things up so that people who haven’t realized what’s the real truth about sex don’t make asses out of themselves.

Here are some of the biggest differences between porn sex vs. real sex (at least, from what I've noticed).

1. Most real guys don’t usually have very large penises.

No, not every guy has a nine-incher. It’s true. Some guys are really small down there, too.

And it's all good, because...

2. Most girls also don’t want to have a guy who’s too well-endowed.

I find that I’m an outlier when it comes to my preferences in guys. I’m a major size queen, but most of my female friends say that the sizes I prefer would be extremely painful for them.

3. And in general, most women don’t care much about penis size.

Size isn't really the dealbreaker that guys think it is for most women. And, to a point, I’ve begun to think that the penis size obsession may be linked with what they see in porn.

4. Most women don’t look like porn stars, either.

Even adult film stars don’t tend to look the way you’d expect them to look when you see them in real life.

The fact is that bodies of all genders are flawed in real life, and that’s actually kind of cool if you think about it. Nobody’s perfect, you know?

And that’s one of the most awesome aspects of sex — overlooking the fact that you’re not perfect, and appreciating the beauty you have otherwise.

5. Sex is often lot more emotional than in porn.

There’s real passion involved, and it’s not all about just moaning and groaning. There are emotions at play. Sex has lasting implications in real life, even if it’s a casual fling.

6. There’s also more communication than in porn shoots, too.

Most women will guide men on what they want in bed. Most men will ask what they should or shouldn't do.

In porn, what happens between the sheets (or on the couch or in the pool) is often choreographed.

7. Real sex involves sex that positions feel best, while porn sex relies on positions that look best on camera.

When you shoot porn, you have to think about the angles of the camera. In real life, women aren’t contorting themselves on a guy, nor are men doing all those crazy acrobatic tricks.

This is a relief because frankly, that kind of physical effort wouldn’t be possible for many of us.

RELATED: What It Really Means When Your Partner Watches Porn Behind Your Back

8. In real life, most women don’t orgasm from vaginal penetration alone.

In porn, women do this thing called “faking an orgasm,” and sadly, a lot of guys didn’t catch on. For a typical woman to orgasm, you will need to stimulate their clitoris, nipples, and other goods.

Unfortunately, porn films don’t show guys doing this, so many men don’t think it’s necessary.

9. The vast majority of women don’t squirt.

Only around 6% of women squirt on a regular basis, and in order for that to happen, they typically have to have their G-spot massaged.

If you don’t have a squirting partner, don’t feel bad. It’s nowhere near as common as porn makes you think.

10. Real-life sex can be gross.

Sex is sweaty, smelly, and pretty darn gross at times. There will be farting, queefing, and other weird things going on from time to time. Porn edits this out.

Subscribe to our newsletter.

Join now for YourTango's trending articles, top expert advice and personal horoscopes delivered straight to your inbox each morning.

11. Though this isn’t always the case, real sex can be awkward.

Maybe the sex you had wasn’t something you’d typically agree to. Maybe you farted. Maybe it was sex that was really, super, awful and involved a partner in tears of shame from a bad performance.

Whatever it is, sex can be awkward in real life, and how you mitigate the awkwardness can make or break your connection with your partner.

12. VIP room parties at nightclubs almost never have giant orgies going on in them.

I’ve been to millions of nightclubs. Only a handful of people have had sex in the middle of a club’s dance floor. How this is such a common porn trope, I’ll never know.

13. Sex typically isn’t always spontaneous.

Ever notice how everything in adult films seems to go from 0 to 100 in under a minute? Yeah, in real life, most women don’t have sex on the first date, so the chances of them just randomly sleeping with the pizza boy or plumber probably aren’t very high.

14. In real life, most women get turned on by misogynistic pickup lines.

I’ll never understand why so many men think that using the pickup lines they hear in porn will work in real life. In reality, women really don’t like hearing guys act like misogynistic jerks.

Acting like a misogynist with a girl will usually only result in a breakup and a bad reputation with the ladyfolk.

15. Real sex requires breaks in between sessions.

Most of my partners lasted a maximum of 5 minutes in bed before they’d have an orgasm. This is okay since I usually would get tired, too.

So, what we’d do is we’d grab a drink of water or eat some food... and then we’d go at it again. If you ask me, that’s a lot more pleasant than the constant hours of pounding away that porn star show.

RELATED: 11 Best Places To Have Sex In Public (And Private) To Avoid Bedroom Boredom

Ossiana Tepfenhart is a renegade writer who focuses on dating, relationships, love, and all sorts of lifestyle stuff. She writes about things she's experienced, things she finds interesting, and things that matter.