
You can do this, April!
By Liza Walter — Written on Apr 14, 2017
Photo: Twitter

Is it just me or does everyone kind of collectively sigh when you get a notification that "April the giraffe could be giving birth any minute?"
At first, it was fun to watch alongside thousands of others waiting on this baby giraffe.
Now I'm just pissed.
Because I follow several news outlets, I get about two notifications an hour to "check in on April."
Which is totally cool if you're into that, but when I see that coveted little red mark attached to the little globe icon on Facebook, I will admit I get excited.
Did someone comment on my new article?
Did someone 'love' the newest picture of my son?
No and no.
It's that damn giraffe.
So, if I may, I'd like to speak to April the giraffe directly. From one mom to another (to be, maybe.)
April, I know you must be so exhausted.
How long have you been pregnant now? 18 months? 5 years?
You may be feeling nervous and anxious about the upcoming birth.
Will you poop when you deliver? Probably, but that's normal.
I'm sure he will. He seems pretty dedicated, much like the rest of your millions of followers who dedicate time out of their day to WATCH YOU GIVE BIRTH!
What I'm trying to say is ...
I understand that you may be trying to prolong the inevitable.
It's scary giving birth. I know.
But I promise that things will be OK.
You don't want to be the laughing stock of the giraffe community, do you?
Other giraffe moms have already given birth yet ... here we are, still waiting on you.
So, if you can just do me (and millions of other people) a huge favor and have the baby already?
We need to move on.
With love,
In the mean time, here are some of my favorite April the giraffe memes to keep you LOLing while you wait for the birth announcement (if she really *is* pregnant).
This is me EVERY morning.
*Me talking to Siri this morning*
"Has April the giraffe had her baby yet yes or no?"
You know you're in trouble when you're on Dr. Phil.
"April, why are you faking this pregnancy?"
That's true love right there!
"I want a man to look at me the way Oliver looks at April."
We're on to you, April!
"When you fakin' a pregnancy to keep him ... and now everyone waitin' for the baby."
I'm starting to believe it.
"I think it's time we accept that April the giraffe just has gas."
Um, April, I have some bad news for you ...
"Hey United, where's my Dr.? He's supposed to deliver this frigging baby!"
That's what it's starting to feel like!
"When someone asks how long you've been watching April the giraffe: Picture it. Sicily, 1912"
Oliver: You are NOT the father.
"April the giraffe, you said you were pregnant. Millions of webcam viewers have determined that was a lie."
That would just be cruel.
"Plot twist: April the giraffe isn't even pregnant and mainstream media is just seeing how much time we'll waste watching a giraffe in real time."
Sometimes it's hard to keep track ...
"Pretty sure April lied to Dr. Tim about the first day of her last period."
Scandalous!
"Breaking: April the giraffe admits faking pregnancy to try and force Geoffrey from ToysRUs into marrying her."
Accurate.
"My first day watching April the giraffe 'moments away from giving birth.' Me now ..."