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Actions speak louder than words do.
By Ossiana Tepfenhart — Written on Dec 06, 2021
In a relationship, no three words ever seem to make us act as crazy as the phrase “I love you.” When you hear this, it’s easy to just believe it on face value.
Unfortunately, not every guy who says these words is honest when he says them. Some even will tell you they love you just so that they can use you or abuse you.
The fact is that you can’t always trust a guy’s words when it comes to showing love.
What does it mean when a guy says he cares about you?
If you want to know if he's trying to say he loves you or trying to avoid it, the only way you can know the answer for sure is to ask him. But sometimes that's easier said than done, so another helpful guide is to look at his actions.
The following 10 actions can sometimes be stronger indicators that he truly cares about you than the words coming out of his mouth.
1. How often he changes his behavior when you tell him something he’s doing is upsetting you.
A guy who actually loves you will do whatever he can to keep you happy by his side.
If he hears that something is bothering you, a guy who loves you will fix it. If he ignores it, he’s basically saying that your happiness is not enough of a priority for him to change that behavior.
2. His level of commitment to you.
A guy who says “I love you” but won’t commit is a guy who doesn’t actually love you.
If he makes a point of asking you to be official with him and makes moves to put you off the market, then he definitely loves you.
3. How quickly he picks up the phone when you call.
Even if he says he loves you, a man who’s “too busy” to text back for days or hours probably isn’t being legit.
Think about it. When you love a guy, you can’t wait to hear from him, can you? The same applies for guys. Guys will make time for things they care about.
4. How often he helps you with chores.
I’m a firm believer that a guy who really loves you will help out with the more menial tasks you do, just because he knows it’d make you happy.
If he isn’t at least picking up a broom or doing the dishes once in a while, he’s taking you for granted.
5. How frequently you're intimate.
Though I know there are people out there who are asexual, most people out there need to have sex with a partner if they’re in a relationship with someone.
If he isn’t having sex with you on a regular basis — or worse, if you have to beg him for sex — he doesn’t love you. On the other hand, if he can’t keep his hands off you, it’s safe to say he may actually love you.
6. How he cuddles with you.
One of the most common ways people show affection is through hugging and cuddling one another. It’s an intimate act, and it’s one that really is often only reserved for people we really care about.
This is especially true for guys, who often may have trouble showing feelings this way. How physically affectionate he is with you, even when sex isn’t involved, says a lot about how he feels about you.
7. How often he tells you what's on his mind.
A good way to gauge how close someone feels you are to them is to see how much they reveal to you or how much they talk to you.
If you notice that he doesn’t feel okay with telling you his real opinion, this isn’t a good sign. However, if he’s a constant gabfest, then it’s very likely that he really is deeply in love with you.
8. How often he gives you gifts “just because.”
It’s really rare to find a guy who showers a girl with gifts late into the relationship.
If a guy does this after you’ve been dating for years, yes, he does really love you.
9. If he stands up for you and your relationship.
A man who is worth a damn and actually cares about you won’t just sit there idly if he hears someone trash-talking you. He also won’t let a person do something that poses a risk to your relationship.
If he refuses to set healthy boundaries with people who tear you down, he doesn’t love you enough to be worth keeping.
On the other hand, if you notice that he defends you when others talk smack, he’s a keeper and he loves you. It’s just that simple.
10. If he sticks by your side when things aren’t good.
You wouldn’t believe how many men can be “Mr. Perfect” when things are great and “Mr. Invisible” when things aren’t.
If he’s the type of guy who can stick with you through thick and thin, that’s real love you’re seeing.
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Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer based out of Red Bank, New Jersey. She writes primarily about lifestyle, food, finance, and relationships. You can follow her on Twitter.