12 Love Poems For Women Who Think Romance Is BULLSH*T

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12 Love Poems For Women Who Think Romance Is BULLSH*T
Love

I am not a romantic person.

Don't get me wrong, if you want to festoon me with flowers or dump a box of chocolates in my lap, I won't be mad at it. 

But if a guy were to compose me a love poem and then recite it?

I'd be more likely to swoon from shame than I would be to swoon from deep and abiding passion at his heartfelt gesture. 

Just because I'm not a traditionally romantic woman, that doesn't mean I don't appreciate poetry.

If anything, when I find a love poem for her that isn't all about someone's throbbing member or how their hair looks like sunlight, I feel personally vindicated.

Because let's be real:

Poetry may be full of pure light and love, but love isn't always like that. 

Sure those love poems for her that are designed to make a woman feel like a goddess have their place.

But I prefer a love poem for her that's going to point out the awkward, the uncomfortable, the funny, and the dark side of romance and love. 

Just because I prefer to read a sweet ode about my vagina, that doesn't mean I don't know how to love or appreciate gestures of romance.

Love poems should be specific. 

Sweet little poems are great for sweet women, but a more complicated, sarcastic eye-rolling dame deserves something a little bit different. 

She deserves something like one of these totally hilarious and totally lovely poems for her! 

Love isn't a four letter word...but it should be!

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love poems for her

"I will break every 

every fucking 

clock on this earth

to prove 

that we are 

not bad timing."

- Erin Van Vuren 

Every man in love is a bad poet.

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love poems for her

He said 

"Your are beautiful"

I told him 

"beautiful"

is a lazy and lousy way to describe me. 

 

- Unknown 

 

Tolkien fans need love too.

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love poems for her

Beards can be red

Swords can glow blue 

There's only one precious 

And that must be you

- Unknown 

When romance becomes DAMN creepy

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love poems for her

I'm obsessed with love,

well with you,

but that sounds 

more stalkery 

and less poetic. 

- Leo Christopher 

Falling in love effin' HURTS.

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love poems for her

I didn't fall 

for you.

You fucking tripped me. 

- Unknown 

Nothing says love like vodka

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love poems for her

Roses are red 

Violets are blue 

Vodka is cheaper 

than dinner for two. 

- Unknown 

Smash dat ass!

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love poems for her

Roses are red 

Hulk is green

I'd smash dat ass 

If you know what I mean. 

- Unknown 

Pizza once again conquers all.

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love poems for her

I like you 

You like pizza

I am bad at poems 

Kiss me. 

 

- Unknown 

Love doesn't need logic.

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love poems for her

Roses are red 

Violets are blue 

Garlic bread

Blink 182 

- Unknown 

Nothing says love like the Jazz Age!

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love poems for her

Sometimes 

I want a quiet life. 

Other times 

I just want to go fucking Gatsby.

- Atticus 

Grumpy cat in love.

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love poems for her

Roses are red

Violets are blue 

Faces like yours belong in the zoo. 

But don't worry, I'll be there too.

Not in the cage. 

But laughing at you.

- Unknown 

Love doesn't JUST take your breath away.

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love poems for her

He smiled 

and all I could think 

was 

"Oh shit."

- Unknown