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Sometimes the best way to a man's heart is to not touch him at all.
By Rebecca Jane Stokes — Last updated on Jun 29, 2023
If you're in it for a relationship, you need to learn how to make a man happy without sleeping with him.
Learning how to make a man happy without sleeping with him can really seal the deal.
In my teens and twenties, I wasn't the best dating partner. I was nervous and anxious, and totally insecure.
There's nothing wrong with that, to be clear, I think that's part of growing up.
If you want to get intimate with your guy, without taking him to the bedroom, listen up.
If you keep up these 5 habits, he'll fall for you — without even touching you:
1. Be independent
There's nothing less attractive to a man than a woman who could be described as being a stage 5 clinger.
Sure, when you meet a guy you like, you are so SURE there's a future there! So of course you're going to make him your priority and want to spend as much free time as possible with him.
You can't expect to put the rest of your life on hold for a man you just met and then expect him to respect you.
Men love women who maintain their own lives in relationships.
Don't neglect your friends to be with him.
Don't cancel plans if you think he might call.
If you're free and want to see him and he asks, that's great. But don't let yourself be the one constantly initiating contact.
Have your own life, it's what makes you unique, sparkling, and dynamic. A man shouldn't even be the thing that completes you, he's just the cherry on top of your already AWESOME sundae.
2. Be honest
Ask any man and he'll tell you that he can't fall in love with a woman who plays games.
Don't do it! Stop! Right now!
You might think that not telling him when you're angry is doing him a favor, but spoiler alert: he knows you're pissed when he's 20 minutes late.
He would much rather have you tell him, "I'm annoyed that you're so late." Then he can apologize, you can forgive him, and the two of you can move on.
Don't coyly hint that you've got another man interested by laughing into your cell phone to make him jealous.
If there's a dude you're keen on, tell him. "This guy has been sniffing around, and he's cute, but I'm with you right now."
That does him the double service of letting him know that you don't want to play games and that you're a hot commodity who is very much in demand with the male of the species. Get it, girl!
3. Ask for what you need
Nothing frustrates a man more than feeling like you expect him to read your mind.
Word up, unless he is Charles Xavier and you have somehow slipped into the Marvel Universe, your dude cannot read your mind, and he'll never be able to barring some freak accident that gives him superpowers.
If you're going through a tough time and need his support, tell him that.
If you're feeling neglected because he's been busy lately, tell him that.
There is nothing inappropriate, weird, or "crazy" about asking a man for something you need.
Especially if the man you're asking is your committed romantic partner.
It's called a partnership for a reason because the two of you are meant to be there for each other in the balancing act of love.
You can't be pissed at him for not giving you what you need if you don't tell him what that is.
4. Share your fantasies with him
Your sex life doesn't begin and end in the bedroom.
You can and should nurture your sex life daily, outside of the bedroom.
That means talking about sex.
It's smart, healthy, and necessary to talk about your sex life when you aren't having sex.
That way you can both make sure you're getting what you need in the bedroom in an atmosphere that isn't as emotionally fraught as it is when you are naked and stuck to each other post-steaming hot orgasm, yes?
If you have a kinky fantasy that you are desperate to try, tell him about it.
Telling him about it while the two of you are having breakfast will be even sexier.
Because he's going to have to go about his day (at work, at the gym) knowing that when he gets home to tonight he gets to please you in new exciting ways. Talk about HOT!
5. Don't be in a rush
Once you meet a man you like, one you know who likes you back, it's tempting to be in a rush to lock him down, whatever that means for you.
For a lot of women, this means pushing for an exclusive relationship that leads to living together which leads to marriage.
True story, you can't force another person to do what you want them to do just because you want it.
Easing up on the speed at which you pursue your new romantic relationship won't just make him feel better, it will make you feel better.
He gets to know that you're interested in him as a person, not just as a potential husband to parade around town, and you get to really know him without panicking about what the future might hold
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Rebecca Jane Stokes is a freelance writer, editor, former Senior Editor of Pop Culture at Newsweek, and former Senior Staff Writer for YourTango. She has a passion for lifestyle, geek news, and true crime topics. Her bylines have appeared on Fatherly, Bustle, SheKnows, Jezebel, and many others.