Wear A Vagina Head For Halloween Because YES, They Actually Exist

Photo: FindCostume.com
vagina, halloween costume

Halloween is fast approaching and I don't have my costume yet. Shall I go as a sexy naughty nurse, French maid or schoolgirl, or go more political and dress up as Hillary Clinton? I could go as Simone Biles, a ghostbuster, or someone from Game of Thrones (even though I don't watch it). I saw a Starbucks drink costume that was cute! Or I could just go as a flip-flop, which would be hilarious.

No, none of those seem right. I know what would really make me stand out: I'll wear a vagina hat! This is one fascinator that's sure to catch the eye.

Photo: FindCostume.com

While it's less a costume and more of an accessory, the vagina hat, or Miss V as it's called, is sure to catch the eye. You decide what you want to pair the vagina hat with — perhaps a slinky black dress or maybe some cute skinny jeans. It's up to you.

Now, don't confuse Miss V with the vagina face mask; this is a completely different product. This vagina is less lifelike than the vagina face mask, and is more colorful with a sense of whimsy and fun. 

If you enjoy being the center of attention, this fascinator hat is sure to put the spotlight on you. The product description reads,"This Vagina Hat is sure to attract tons of attention! You're no prick, and you want everyone to know! Be that shameless person who wears this vagina costume... This funny hat is a piece of bright pink and beige headgear that is bound to draw stares. Proudly pronounce your girl power in this raunchy, offensive, yet funny hat." 

While it's no longer available at Walmart (which is strange), you can buy it from FindCostume for $15.95 — but act fast before they sell out.

If being a dickhead is more your style, there are penis hats as well as penis masks.

Photo: FindCostume.com

If a vagina hat or a penis hat really speaks (that's an expression — these hats don't talk) to you and you must wear them, use your discretion. I'm not an expert but I'd say stay away from church parties, any place with children under the age of 18, and don't give out treats for trick or treaters.