What Happens To Narcissists When People Realize They're Narcissists

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What Happens When People Realize They’re Narcissists
Love, Self

Recently, one of my closest friends dumped a narcissist, and he was prepared for it. Much like he did with his other exes, he went around to everyone and said his own "version" of what happened. He conveniently left out all the abuse he had, the fact that he had sexually assaulted my friend and the fact that he cheated on her.

However, unlike his past relationships, people actually witnessed what he did to her. His mask fell off, and with it, we both learned what happens when people realize a "good guy" is actually an abusive narcissist.

So, if you've been wondering what happens, here's the straight dope from someone who's seen it happen. This is, of course, assuming that their abuse victims leave like my friend did.

1. People who saw what happened start avoiding the narcissist.


My friend's ex really showed his true face when he was at a party with her. He began berating her, treating her like chattel, and even hitting on other people in front of her. All of his friends had to leave the party because they were so uncomfortable and shocked by his behavior. This was also the moment when my friend left him.

2. The narcissist decides to do damage control.

This started by him blaming me and her other friends for the breakup. Anything that he could have said to stretch the truth was said, and he even enlisted people who weren't "in the know" to help him date others on the down-low. It seemed like the narcissist would have won, but...

3. The people who actually witnessed it all, as well as the victims, set the record straight.


This is where damage control really backfired. Others who actually saw things go down actually stepped up to say what happened. Once that mask falls, you can't pick it back up. The more on blast the narcissist is, the worse the blowback will be.

4. The narcissist starts to panic now that his narcissistic supply is failing.

This actually naturally occurs with people who are narcissistic. As they get older, their ability to get away with their abuse tends to fade away. In the case where everyone realizes that they're a narcissistic abuser and the victims cut contact, their ability to get the approval, praise, and control they're addicted to crumbles. Like any other junkie out there, a narcissist cut off from his supply will go into full panic mode.

5. The narcissist gets desperate.


Praise and control are like drugs, and narcissists are like junkies. What we saw happen was a desperate grab for attention, approval, and praise. Her ex basically had a meltdown and was begging people to say that they still liked him.

6. The desperation makes people uncomfortable, and even newer people shuffle away.

It's really, really cringe-worthy to watch a narcissist that's low on supply. Narcissists are never happy people per se, but they sure as hell are downright miserable by this point.

7. Despite all this, the narcissist will see himself or herself as the victim.


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This is the point where he'll begin to wail about how he was wronged for not getting what he wants. They can't see their behavior as bad because it's always a "special case" with them.

8. He also may begin to panic about his fading looks.

My friend's ex reached his mid-30s, and for people who eat, sleep, and breathe nightlife, that's old. He's gaining wrinkles and losing hair, and since he was known for being a pretty boy, he's really not feeling good about this all. It really hasn't helped out the "youthful façade" he keeps trying to project.

9. In extreme forms, the narcissist may end up being a total outcast.


This is what is happening to my friend's ex, and it's slowly getting to the point where any social presence he has is coming to a close. It's hard to want to be around someone who you know has seriously hurt friends of yours, and that's exactly what's been happening to him. Word spreads, and eventually, the truth will come out.

10. From what we've heard from others, it seems like most narcissists end up angry, bitter, and alone.

Unable to see the error of their ways or correct their behavior, narcissists slowly lose everyone around them. And you know what? If you ask me, that's a perfectly just end.