I Love Too Hard, And I'm #SorryNotSorry If That Scares You

The right guy will appreciate me for it.

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Passion is something I'm known for. I've been told by many men that my passionate behavior can be scary at times. And yes, it's true I've been called clingy. I've even been called Fifi La Fume because of the way I get when I actually fall for a guy.

Yes, I'm the girl who gets all over a guy. I'm the girl who shows up with presents "just because." I'm the girl who spoils men rotten, and yes, I'm the girl who loves too hard.


For the life of me, I'll never understand why being affectionate to a significant other is so poorly regarded.

I've had so many guys dump me just because I was too affectionate. I've had guys take advantage of me and take me for granted because they thought I'd always be there.

These things are par for the course in my dating life, and because I am who I am, it's a hard habit to break. I'm slowly learning to just mirror others' effort, or just cut them out of my life without warning. Because I understand the way people think, I can at least understand that being overly- affectionate can be an issue.


I've been told that I come on too strong and that it can scare away good men. Hearing this doesn't make much sense to me for a number of reasons.

So what if I come on too strong? It's really just a symptom of me appreciating a guy. I'm not going to stop being aggressive with guys just because it scares some away. I'm also not sorry for being "scary" in this sense.

Here's why I'm not sorry for being upfront, forceful, and passionate with men  and why the right guy will appreciate me for it.

1. It's not like it completely takes away from the chase.



Here's the thing too many men just don't understand. I'm easy to get, but extremely hard to keep. I expect certain things, and will have no qualms with telling you what I expect of you. If you don't meet my expectations, I will be heartbroken and you will be single.

I'm a chase. You just have to chase me the right way.

2. Loving too hard doesn't mean I have no self-esteem.

Just because I'm hyper-affectionate and very direct doesn't mean I'm desperate. I take myself seriously. I know I'm worth loving, and I know I bring way more to the table than the average person does.

I'm looking for someone who wants a lot of affection, appreciation, and adventure. Don't ever mistake my kindness and emotions for weakness — you will learn how strong I am when I tell you to kick rocks. And, really, if you can't see that I'm not desperate, you probably will never understand the way I date.


3. I'm not sorry for having feelings, and I'm not sorry for not wanting to play games.


I know what I want, and I'm done pretending I don't want something just so that I can have it. A person who has integrity will appreciate that I'm direct, and will appreciate all the nice little things I do.

4. I have passion, and that is awesome for any man that dates me.

Looking for a girl who would do anything to please her partner? Of course you are. Too bad you passed her up for someone who didn't "love too hard" for you, eh? You're probably looking for one of the best lays of your life, too. Well, you need passion for that... and passion like mine doesn't come around every day.


5. I go in hoping that the next person I'm with is the person I'll spend my life with.


I don't really do the whole "temporary" thing unless I explicitly tell them that's what I'm looking for. That being said, I wouldn't want the shame of knowing I treated my future spouse like sh*t when we first met. Loving too hard, for me, is a way of making sure I can sleep at night when it comes to how I treat a date.


6. I behave the way I wish people would behave with me.

And you know what? The right person will see that and take a hint. The right partner will treat me the way I treat them, and will cherish me for it.

7. I refuse to apologize for having feelings and expressing them in a loving way.



I'm sorry you want an ice queen. I'm sorry you want someone who has zero passion and makes you run around for her with almost no reward in sight. I'm sorry you don't see how unhealthy that tends to be. I'm not sorry for being the way I am, nor will I ever be.

Being a passionate person, perhaps overly so, really does have its drawbacks. People tend to bail on me because they think I'm crazy. I tend to think people are crazy when they reel in their emotions just to "play it cool." Guys pass me up, thinking I'm low value, when in reality I'm way better than the girls they end up dating.


I know this because they often come by later on with a sad smile to tell me they realize how badly they f*cked up. That being said, guys who passed me up for a less passionate girl need not come and whine to me when she cheats, leaves, or just gets bored of him.

They had their chance when I offered myself up for grabs. If they didn't appreciate it back then, why should they get a chance now? I'm not sorry for loving too hard, I'm just sorry I love the wrong people.