Women Should Orgasm First And Other Unexpected Kama Sutra Advice

Photo: Marta Nael
kama sutra tips

The Kama Sutra is an ancient scripture that has long gotten a reputation of being a book of sex positions for couples with issues in their relationship. But there’s SO much more to it than that!

The Kama Sutra is focused on love, relationships, and sex, and is from thousands of years ago. While some of the stuff is pretty outdated, it's amazing how much of it applies to modern relationships, and taps into our natural instincts as humans.

That's kind of what the Kama Sutra is really about: being human and enjoying things of the physical world.

So, before you turn from your screens to blush, know that only about 20 percent of the Kama Sutra is focused on sexual positions, and all of it is good to know, especially as you start navigating the world for serious loving relationships (something that wasn't so easily attained in high school).

But, if you’re curious about why the sex positions are the way they are, try to think of them almost like yoga, which is good for the body and spirit. And if your body isn't quite flexible enough for the positions, at least it's fun and playful!

Let's start with the basics:

Sex is part of the natural balance of life, and the Kama Sutra breaks up a fulfilling life into three different values:

Dharma — Your life purpose (job, destiny, path, and all that jazz)

Artha gaining/earning material possessions, friends, and talent

Kama Physical pleasures from the five senses.

Since we are human, physical pleasures play a big role in our lives, and it’s not just because of physical reasons. It is seen as a necessity to be happy and keep a balance. In other words, all work and no play makes you a dull boy/girl. Got it?



Now that you understand the principles of Kama Sutra, here are some fascinating things every woman should know from this ancient text:

1. Foreplay is crucial, and women should climax first.


Can we get an AMEN! According to the Kama Sutra (and personal experience), it's generally much easier and quicker to get a man to orgasm. However, the Kama Sutra insists that the woman should orgasm first, since it takes more effort, and being able to make a woman climax reflects how much a man (or partner) understands and values their woman.

Women are explained as something to be studied, appreciated, and valued. Again, AMEN!


2. Intimacy is also foreplay.


Foreplay isn’t just tongues and fingers going to those special places. Foreplay can also be communication, and touching in a way that shows love. Specifically, the Kama Sutra outlines various types of embraces. Ways to hold your partner to show them that you love and value them, that you want them sexually, that you need them, and so forth. Words also play into this.


3. You are not obligated to have sex.


You are not obligated to have sex. You are not obligated to have sex. You are not obligated to have sex.

If you do not want to have sex, but your partner does, you are allowed to decline. Mixing undesirable feelings with an action that’s supposed to reflect love and desire is just a big ol’ no-no. Makes sense when you think about it, right?


4. Men should bite, women should scratch.


And as you may have guessed by now, the Kama Sutra outlines different ways to scratch your man. So, don’t be afraid of getting a little extra clingy in bed *winky face*.


5. Size matters.


Ladies, aren’t off the hook for this one.

The Kama Sutra categorizes male and female genitals by size. Women by depth, men by mass. For men, there is hare, bull, and horse, which basically in layman's terms translate to small, medium, and large. For women, there is deer, mare, and elephant, which again pretty much translates to small, medium and large.

For the best pleasure, the sizes between partners ought to match up, so that sex isn’t unsatisfying due to pain or lack of sensation.


6. Sex should be deeply valued.


While sex is a physical pleasure, it should be viewed as more than thatIt's a communication, and the better the communication, the more pleasure you and your partner can expect.

Sex is about trust, openness, and caring for your partner as a human being physically and emotionally. You don’t always have to have movie-worthy sappy sex, but there should be a simultaneous value of your and your partner’s pleasure. Might sound like a lot to handle at first, but that’s what the Kama Sutra is made to alleviate!

Sure, Some of this may seem idyllic, but what's so wrong with wanting pleasure on multiple levels?

Nothing! As we navigate through life, it might be hard to imagine finding someone you can be THAT compatible with, but sex isn't simple. There's TONS of layers to it, and the Kama Sutra highlights a TON of them. Don't over-think it, and just have some fun finding what works best for you.