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Look at the specific way he acts around you.
By Rebecca Jane Stokes — Last updated on Aug 02, 2023
So you want to know how to tell if a guy likes you? Welcome to the club.
When it comes to figuring out if a guy likes me, I've definitely considered sending a guy a note asking him to check yes or no. I mean, that at least would cut straight to the chase, no? We had something right in second grade.
The truth of the matter is that if a guy likes you, it's actually fairly obvious. He might be too shy to come outright and say it to you, but he is probably still showing you that he likes you in a million tiny ways.
He will express it one way or another, be it using body language, the way he interacts with you, or how much his friends know about you.
These guidelines should be pretty helpful in getting you to determine how to tell if a guy likes you, especially if you're still uncertain about his feelings.
Here is how to really know if a guy likes you — without him saying a word:
1. He talks about you
When you like a guy, you can't shut up about him, and with dudes, believe it or not, it's the same deal. If he likes you, he's going to tell his friends about you, stat. If you've been on a few dates with a guy and he hasn't mentioned his friends, that means he hasn't told his friends about you.
If a guy seriously likes you, he's going to want to make you a part of his social circle sooner rather than later. If his buddies don't greet you with a smile and an "I've heard so much about you," then he hasn't been talking about you, and he ain't that into you.
2. He wants to be around you
This might seem like a no-brainer, but even smarty-pants folks like me could use a reminder. If a guy likes you, he's going to move heaven and earth to see you. Well, not heaven and earth, but he'll happily get off his couch and come meet you for a cocktail because hanging out with you makes him happy.
If getting him to meet you just once a week is like pulling teeth, he doesn't like you. He may think you're cool, he may WANT to like you, but you aren't a priority for him, end of story.
3. He makes memories with you
I'm not talking about him remembering the third day anniversary of the first time you kissed his left ear, I'm talking about the big stuff, like your birthday, or your actual anniversary.
Having a bad memory is no excuse. My boyfriend has the worst memory of any human being I have ever met, but he doesn't forget me because he's got this thing called a calendar. If a guy likes you, he makes an effort to remember things about YOU, even if that means doing something as unthinkable as writing things down.
4. He cares about your feelings
When a guy cares about you, he doesn't just care about you when you're happy, he cares when you're hurt, sad, angry, or frustrated, too.
When a man is truly interested in a woman, he quickly begins to become invested in her personal life. He won't ever brush aside something that hurts you, he'll ask if you're okay, and he'll check in with you often. If a guy seems to run a hundred miles whenever you express a feeling, he doesn't really like you, as tough as that may be to accept.
5. He is interested in you
When a guy's really interested in you, he's just that — interested. This goes beyond feigning interest and waiting for his turn to talk; when a man is really interested in you he will listen to the things you say because learning all about you matters to him.
If he spaces out when you talk, or you find yourself reminding him of the same information over and over again, he isn't really listening to you. And if he isn't really listening to you, then he doesn't really like you, at least not the way you deserve to be liked.
6. He protects you
There's a difference between protecting a woman and being an aggressive jerk who picks fights with anyone who even LOOKS at you. That's not normal behavior.
Getting angry on your behalf when someone hurts your feelings or taking care of you when you're sick? That's being protective. If a guy likes you he's going to do whatever he can to make sure you stay safe from harm.
7. His body language shows he's intrigued
If you've been spending time with a man and you still don't know whether or not he likes you, try and start paying more attention to his body language.
When a guy likes you he'll express it with his body, demonstrating intrigue by always turning his whole body towards her, laughing at her jokes, and being unable to pull his eyes away from her. It might sound like a Calvin Klein ad IRL, but this body language sign is 100 percent reliable.
8. He'll tell you about his life
I was once dating a man and thought it was going very well. We had fun together, he was funny and smart and charming (in his way). But after a couple of months, I began to feel like something wasn't quite right.
It was then I realized that I knew almost nothing about his past, his childhood, any of it. He was more than willing to talk about his job and his dreams for the future, but the past was a no-go.
When a guy likes you he's going to share everything about his life with you, even the painful stuff. It may take time, but if he never opens up, then he doesn't like you.
9. He lets you hurt his feelings
You know that awful feeling when you text a guy and he takes forever to respond if he responds at all? When a guy likes you and you blow him off (for work or anything really), he won't be afraid to tell you that it hurt.
If a guy is willing to show his fish white underbelly to you it means he trusts you with his heart. If you ignore a guy or reschedule a date ad nauseam and he just goes with it, he's holding back. And come to mention it, if you're doing all of that, maybe you are too!
10. He is so happy
When you really like someone, they make you happy. And more often than not, that happiness leaks into every arena of your life, turning you into that person who is running around singing in public and greeting everyone with a smile.
If a guy likes you, he's going to be happy. He's going to be smiley. He's going to TELL you he's happy, too. Because guess what? The reason for his happiness? Why that's you! Mind you, I'm not saying you're responsible for his happiness in the long term, but this first flush of love? That's all you.
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Rebecca Jane Stokes is an editor, freelance writer, former Senior Staff Writer for YourTango, and the former Senior Editor of Pop Culture at Newsweek. Her bylines have appeared in Fatherly, Gizmodo, Yahoo Life, Jezebel, Apartment Therapy, Bustle, Cosmopolitan, SheKnows, and many others.