How To Ask A Guy Out Without Sounding Totally Desperate

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Nothing can make a girl break out in nervous sweats faster than asking a guy out.

For decades we never had this kind of pressure. It’s new, and we need to cut ourselves some slack.

Asking someone out is tough and can breed more anxiety than some of us are personally cut out for. But that’s only if we make it a big deal.

We only freak out when we start thinking too much into the future and the possibility of rejection.

If we just toned things down like 10 or 100 notches, we’d see that asking a guy out really isn’t that scary. 


First, you need to remind yourself is that he’s just a person. Just some dude you find slightly attractive and maybe want to get to know. He doesn’t determine your self worth, and whether or not he likes you doesn't have to impact your self esteem. 

Go repeat that into a mirror about 40 times, sing some Nikki Minaj, and chill. Then consider these questions: 

1) Has he made any attempt at all to ask you out? 

2) What makes you think he’d be interested in a date with you? 

It’s important to be realistic. Is this a cute guy you met through a friend who seemed really eager to sit next to you at dinner? Or is it a guy you hooked up with after three patron shots last Thursday who has failed to text you back? 

Because some situations are definitely more date-friendly than others. 


So after you’ve analyzed what’s going on — not over analyze, mind you — and you’ve decided that a date seems pretty likely, how do you proceed? 

Don’t tip toe around what you want. If you to hang out with a guy, just ask him to hang out. 

The best way to do so is to just casually ask him to come with you to something. Plan on going bar hopping with your friends this weekend? Invite him along! Boat day Saturday? Bring him! 

The more casual the setting, the easier it is to get to know someone. Because really, you don’t know this guy yet. He’s just cute and you think you may be into it.

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No need to get all worked up about it. 


The pressure is off, and there’s no huge expectations. You both can relax and see if there’s something there. 

So next time you get all caught up about asking a guy out on a “date,” don’t.

Ask him to do something fun. See if he’s worth freaking out over first before you start freaking out.