5 Signs You're Better Off As Best Friends, Not Lovers (Sorry!)

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better as friends

By Shawn Binder

There is the misconception that to be romantically involved with someone means you must give them your all, or they can have nothing. The reality is that life doesn’t work that way and sometimes emotions ebb and flow.

Whenever two people get into a relationship and then no longer feel it they feel like there is no back tracking. In a way, they’re right. They will never know each other as solely friends because friends don’t usually smash their naked bodies into each other and share the most intimate details of their lives. However, if you’ve been in a long-term relationship before you understand that just because you stop having romantic feelings for someone doesn’t mean you stop caring about them all together.

If you’re unsure about how you feel about your significant other, here are five reasons you’re probably better off as friends.

1. You don’t have sex regularly anymore.

It’s totally normal for the sex to ebb and flow when you’re in a relationship. Variety is the spice of life and if you’re only seeing each other naked, chances are eventually it’s going to feel a little stale.

However, if it’s been weeks since you last touched each other in a sexual way, chances are you’re probably more likely to high-five than make out and maybe you should explore that instead.

2. You don’t make an effort to spend time with them just the two of you.

If you can’t imagine spending another night on the couch with just the two of you and you’re constantly seeking out friends to hang out with so you don’t have to be alone with your partner, take it as a sign that maybe you both need some space. Would you be better off as just friends? Sounds like it.

3. You’ve become bored with the predictability in your relationship.

If you can predict every thing your significant other will say, or do, or even think before they even know, it’s because you two have moved past romance and have melded souls. As beautiful as this may sound, as young as we are we’re not fully formed people yet, and we need the opportunity to grow on our own.

When we’re in a relationship we fear taking that space to grow as an individual, but when you’re just friends with someone you have free reign to do just that.

4. Things have become too practical.

If your relationship has become more about paying bills and who is going to go grocery shopping and do the dishes and take out the dog, the truth is you two are staying with each other because it’s easy and comfortable.

The pillar of any strong relationship is the ability to grow together and experience the world in different and exciting ways. If you’re getting more pissed off at your S.O for not taking out the trash than you are happy that you two get to try a new brunch spot together this weekend, it’s time to tap out.

5. You fantasize about other people…like…all the time.

If you don’t fantasize about other people while you’re in a relationship (yes, even the happy ones!) then I’m deeply concerned  about the way you express your sexual nature. However, having said that, if you constantly need to think about having sex with someone who isn’t your significant other it’s a clear indicator that you want to be with someone else… so why are you wasting your time? Acknowledge your relationship for what it is — simply platonic — and move on.

This article was originally published at The Berry. Reprinted with permission from the author.