Meet The Man Who Says His 19-Inch Penis Scares Women

Every man on earth likes to imagine that his penis is the biggest and best member a woman could ever behold. They'd build shrines to their penises if they had the time.

Those men, god bless their flaccidity and positive self-image, are absolutely incorrect. 

I mean, sure, a guy packing eight inches? That's a very big penis, practically speaking. Especially when the average vagina maxes out at 7 inches in depth when she is fully aroused.

 But even a big penis like that looks positively tiny when compared to the massive member of Roberto Esquivel Cabrera. 

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The Mexican man has a 19-inch penis. Let that wash over you. 19 inches of penis. You'll never hear the phrase "big penis" without being to shake Roberto's trials and travails from your mind. 

I mean, look, that is just plain terrifying. Roberto would be tempted to agree. He says his big penis is such a whopper THAT HE CANNOT HOLD DOWN A JOB. That is stunning to me. My boobs are massive, can I please never work another day in my life?

It is not outside the realm of possibility that my boobs could cause a serious workplace injury to myself or others, so I know what Roberto is going through.

Roberto also says that his big penis "frightens" away women. Well yes. I mean, we've only witnessed said penis soft, can you imagine that thing coming towards you in the throes of passion? It's like a monster movie! You'd be all: 

Luckily, Roberto is not letting his gigantic penis slow him down. I mean, it still literally slows him down (his big penis makes simple tasks — like walking — borderline impossible). 

Though he is currently unemployed, he's eager to put his penis to work in the porn industry if the price is right. I hope he does it, if only so he can become some porn star's Mount Everest. Because seriously you know she'll have to hire a Sherpa to get up that thing and she is guaranteed to find the bodies of other women who did not survive their ascent.

Well, be it employment or the love of the good woman, I certainly hope Roberto finds what he's looking for. It seems like a difficult life to live, but then, I don't have a penis, so maybe it's awesome? Who is to say. Maybe this is the new dream: to be unemployed and in possession of a indomitable peen.