7 Blatant Signs You HATE Your Body In Bed (And How To Get Over It)

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 Signs You Hate Your Body In Bed

Do you find yourself turning off the lights to have sex? This might be a sign that you hate your body, especially in bed. But why? It's time to stop hating your body in (and out) of the bedroom.

"Your body was designed to receive pleasure, whether or not you think your breasts are too small or your love handles too ample. Forget all that during your sensual experience and, instead, put your focus on each and every pleasurable sensation.When you put your attention specifically on what feels good, you'll focus less on your negative body hang-ups. Sex should not be a place where you criticize yourself, but a playground where you allow yourself complete freedom to receive pleasure just as you are," says sex expert Dana Myers of Booty Parlor.

So what are some signs you hate your body in bed? Sex expert and star of E!'s Famously Single Laurel House weighs in.

"If you refuse to do certain positions because you're afraid that your butt looks fat in that position, you can't stop thinking about how hideous his view of you is right now, you are unable to enjoy sex because you are consumed by thoughts of your jiggles, ripples, bulges, and bounces, or you only want to be in positions that look flattering, these are all major red flags."

Here are seven more signs you're self-conscious about how your body looks during sex.

1. You pay more attention to the way you look than the way you feel. 


Obviously, the way you see yourself impacts how you feel, but if worrying about how you look supersedes your enjoyment of pleasure in bed, you may want to work on your body image.

"I wouldn't say that you hate your body, but you should be concerned if your orgasms are impeded by your concerns about your appearance. Every one of us can be self-conscious about our bodies. Spending more time naked, masturbating to learn more about your body's unique responses, and closing your eyes to focus on the sensations can help us to overcome body issues during sex," says sexologist Dr. Jess.

2. You avoid certain positions because you don't want your partner to look at you. 

This doesn't mean that you hate your body, but it's concerning that you would deny yourself (and your partner) pleasure because you're insecure about a particular body part. If this is the case, you might want to turn the lights off and practice deriving pleasure from these so-called "problem areas."

"Once you learn to associate pleasure with a body part, you're more likely to appreciate it and gain confidence in showing it off. I had a client who hated her butt — she would only wear baggy pants and avoided any rear-entry positions. One day while playing around in the dark, her partner started pressing on her butthole and she realized that this made her orgasms even better. As she started to enjoy anal play, she became more comfortable with the shape and size of her butt," says Dr. Jess.

3. You insist on turning out the lights.


Just like in movies and stage plays, it's all about good lighting to achieve the right effect.

"Your first thought might be to have sex in the dark to keep things out of sight and out of mind, but actually, candlelight or soft lighting highlights your best assets and creates a romantic atmosphere," says Angie Rowntree, founder and producer of Porn For Women site

4. You leave your clothes on.

Though it's less sexy to keep your clothes on while doing the deed, if you're super-insecure about how you look, you might want to try wearing the right lingerie.

"Instead of putting on a pair of fuzzy flannel pajamas, buy a few pieces of lingerie that make you feel good about your body. Our partners aren't as critical as we often times are, and love our curves and unique physical qualities. We spend so much time covering up that we can forget what we actually look like. The right lingerie goes a long way in helping out in this situation," says Rowntree.

5. You avoid trying new sex positions.


If you're not keen on trying new sex positions because you fear what you will look like, you should try positions that actually enhance your physical appearance.

"Different positions can give you great angles. For example, in Cowgirl, you can arch your back, push your shoulders back to elongate your stomach muscles, and give your lover a nice appealing view. While spooning, when you're facing away from him, you can stretch out for a thinning visual effect," says Rowntree.

6. You find yourself apologizing to him for your self-perceived body flaws.

Never apologize. Apologizing is the absolute worst thing you can do.

"It's a turn-off for your partner when you focus on the negative, and simply reinforces your own negative body image. Instead, take a positive point of view. Confidence is far sexier than a perfect body!" says Rowntree.

7. You are distracted by thoughts of how your body looks.


Instead, visualize yourself as a sexpot. 

"We all want to be sex goddesses, but sometimes we get too caught up in our own insecurities. When in bed making love, try emulating qualities of a movie star that you find sexy and hot. This is one reliable way to build some extra confidence," says Rowntree.