Why You Always Seem To Choose The Wrong Men (And How To Stop!)

Is your sense for finding love perpetually off kilter? Do you find yourself repeatedly in relationships with dysfunctional men? Men who are users, losers, players, cheaters, Mama’s boys, addicts, or the types who are unable to commit?

Why do you always seem to attract the same toxic relationships into your life? 

You seem to always get involved with men who are unstable, emotionally unavailable, or maybe even disrespectful or hurtful, but why? It makes no logical sense to you (or your friends) but no matter how many times you swear not to do it again the pattern repeats in your next relationship. You feel the red flags in your gut, but you always ignore them.

Perhaps you had an unbalanced male figure in your childhood, or your first serious relationship left you wounded in some way. Could it be that you're attracting and choosing men that mirror the unavailability, rejection or abandonment issues that were familiar in your earliest relationship with the opposite sex? Are you somehow finding a type of comfort in that familiar scenario — even if it's one filled with hurt?

Are you a ‘fixer’?

Are you subconsciously drawn to men who you feel need ‘fixing’? You recognize his blatant flaws, but you feel compelled to make him your project. He needs your help to change. You give and give of yourself, advise and console, treat him with all the love and tenderness you can muster only to find yourself depleted, confused and rejected when he doesn’t respond like you expect.

Are you looking for the wrong qualities?

Maybe your priorities are just skewed. Do you only date men who are handsome? Do they have to make a certain amount of money? Does the top of your ‘laundry list’ focus on superficial requirements versus attributes that are more important for a healthy, stable, long-term relationship?

Are you seeing a pattern here?

The fascinating thing about relationships is that we're drawn to and simultaneously attract what we need to work on in ourselves. We're doomed to repeat our mistakes until we acknowledge and work on our own flaws, inadequacies, and fears.

We have to recognize our own dysfunctions to stop drawing those dysfunctions to ourselves.

"Know It All Nancy" can help! In the video above, Nancy Nichols shares her practical views on this topic. Think about your situation and your "emotional filters" and then watch it again to figure out where you're going wrong.

If you want to learn more about this or other relationship issues, visit Nancy’s website.