Hey, Husbands! THIS Is How You Can Get Your Wife 'In The Mood'

It's all about the little things, guys!

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The media is saturated with solutions for men who suffer from erectile disfunction. So why are there no advertised drugs for women who have low libido? Sure, there are creams and lubricants and all kinds of sex toys, but those products only come in handy when she actually has the desire for sex.


Arousal and desire are two totally different animals.

This is especially true from a woman’s perspective, biologically and psychologically. If a woman has no desire for sex, the solution to arousal just isn’t as simple as popping a pill.

Granted, I'm not a medical professional and can only speak to this issue from my personal perspective and from what I've heard from many of my friends who complain of the occasional lack of desire.

Want to know what many women complain about the most, guys? Want to know why they’re sometimes not in the mood?

We are tired!



Physically, mentally, emotionally and sometimes even spiritually. Like you, we work all day at stressful jobs, but then we have to come home to the added stresses of our other responsibilities - the kids, the housework, the errands and in many situations, the finances. By the time we get a chance to sit down and catch a little break in front of the television, sex is the absolute last thing on our minds.

We are by nature mental creatures - desire starts in our brains. When we're physically exhausted, mentally stressed, and our brains are overloaded, we have no capacity for entertaining thoughts of desire for you … maybe ice cream, but probably not sex with you.

To help your wife get in the mood, try some things that may seem small to you, but will be huge to her.

  • Surprise her by making or bringing home dinner.
  • Take the kids to their activities.
  • Load the dishwasher and clean up after a meal.
  • Do the laundry.
  • Do any household chore.

Pay attention to her. Really see her! Tell her she’s beautiful and remind her how much you appreciate and love her.

Bring her a small gift once in a while. It doesn’t need to be expensive or extravagant — just something to let her know you were thinking about her. When she collapses on the couch in exhaustion, massage her shoulders, stroke her hair, hold her close, and do it all with no expectation of sex.

I’m telling you, these small gestures, performed with sincere love and compassion, will greatly improve the chances of her being open to the idea of sex. That mental foreplay holds the key to opening up the sexual floodgates, as she now feels appreciated, needed, understood, and loved.

Want a professional’s opinion?


There are critical biological and chemical processes that come into play to support these ideas according to Author John Gray. In our YourTango Experts video, John explains in easy to understand terms how these processes affect your wife’s sex drive. He also gives his professional advice on what you can do to help.

John's website offers products to help with sexual enhancement as well as timeless advice on all things love and relationships. Take a peek or reach out to him!