If He Really Wanted To Be With You, You Wouldn't Have To Try So Hard

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Sometimes starting a new relationship can feel like making a U-turn in a busy intersection: nearly impossible. 

While romance movies tell us to fight for love and that real relationships happen only after life-or-death obstacles, the reality is much, much more boring. 

You see someone. You getting a feeling you like them. You hang out. You like them more. They like you too. You both make the decision to be together. 

That's it. 

But some of us are prone to drama and complication, and it's almost like the more twisted and unlikely a relationship is to happen, the more DESPERATE we are to make it happen. 


There's just something about wanting what you can't have and the excitement you get trying to go after it that makes the love seem real.

Maybe it's validating, maybe it makes you feel alive, but no matter what, it's probably destroying your potential for a real, lasting relationship. 

Love is complicated, of course it is. It's two complicated human beings getting involved in each other's complicated lives which leads to a buttload of more complications.

But in the beginning — the blissful period we call "the honeymoon phase" — it should be anything but. 

If somebody likes you and wants to be with you, then 90% of the time they will be. 

Of course there are the few exceptions to this rule, but those exceptions are what most romantic movies are based off of so they don't count as real life. 


So if a guy you like says he likes you, but is doing things that completely counter to the idea that he likes you, then it's time to move on.

Examples include the following: 

  • Not hanging out with you in public
  • Avoiding you or being weird on social media
  • Not asking you out on real dates
  • Not trying to get to know you
  • Not saying that he wants to be with you
  • Not meeting your friends
  • Only hanging out with you to have sex
  • Saying that he isn't "ready" for a relationship
  • Or anything that feels kind of off and weird and you don't have a valid explanation for


Now if you're not looking for love or anything serious, then keep hanging out with this guy because neither is he.

While yes, some people take time to get to know someone before they make a commitment,

I think it's safe to say we usually know who we like right off the bat. 

Don't waste your time on someone who isn't even trying to be with you. Stop listening to whatever bullshit they're feeding you and see the writing on the wall, boo. 

You're better off looking somewhere else.