Photo: WeHeartIt
You don't own me.
By Emily Blackwood — Written on May 28, 2016
It took me a long time to understand what confidence really meant.
I grew up strongly believing in the "fake it til you make it" mentality, and focusing more on what I looked like on the outside than how I felt on the inside. Nobody — except the few a-holes who loved to read my diary — saw that part of me anyway, so why did it matter?
It took a lot of late nights, bad relationships and toxic friends for me to finally realize that I wasn't living my life for myself. I was living it for everyone else.
I was editing my the way I dressed, acted and talked to make everyone else feel comfortable. I didn't pursue passions and interests because other people would tell me not too or because I was worried they would think I was insecure and looking for attention.
For a long time I chose to be invisible, because it was a lot easier than being myself.
Finally I saw the bright, rainbow-colored light at the end of the tunnel and realized that not only is life is a lot more fun when you stop giving a shit about what anyone else thinks, but it's better for the people who love you too.
When you take control of your own happiness, you let other people off the hook. You stop relying on them to take your feelings into consideration and you're way more understanding when they don't. You don't expect them to make miracles or move mountains, because you know how to do that all on your own.
Living a life for yourself means you can better appreciate the people around you. And once you learn how to do that, you stop waiting for someone else to make you feel whole.
You belong to yourself, someone who you know will always have your back. You're your own hero, your own knight in shining armor and your life is full and complete without anyone else.
Confidence isn't an overinflated ego or talking yourself up 24/7. It's simply knowing how to make yourself happy, and keeping that mindset throughout all your relationships. When you're confident, you're careful about who you get close to, and you don't let anyone make you feel like you don't deserve what you want.
You're less likely to enter relationships with a controlling partner because you no longer need the false sense security they provide.
Being confident is being happy, all on your own.
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