There will ALWAYS be highs and lows.
By Helen Fisher and Dorothy Camp and Rhoberta Shaler, PhD and melanie and Marcie Telander and Ross Rosenberg — Written on May 13, 2016
How do we go from dating bliss to relationship happiness? The sexual chemistry was probably spine tinglingly electric when you fell hard and fast for your lover. There is no doubt that this was the stage of your relationship where every moment felt like rainbows and sappy love songs — a total adrenaline rush.
Mind-blowing addictive sex, light, airy conversations and playful teasing that always led to touches that made your toes curl ... this is the epitome of new love.
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But after you and your lover move out of this blissful phase, it's natural to fall into the "ebb stage". This is where spontaneity and thrills have gone the way of formulaic routines and comfortable patterns.
You guys end up only doing things on certain nights of the week, you have stolen phone calls in the midst of your hectic work schedules, and all that beautiful foreplay you used to do turned into quick predictable 'steps' that are time-tested, if not monotonous winners.
This is a place in your relationship where you start feeling emotionally drained and you think 'Well, we’ve been together for a while — shouldn’t we be moving forward in some way? What’s next? Shouldn’t we be bonding in some way that creates a future together?'
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As Rhoberta Shaler explains in the video above, you’ve gone straight from the ‘dating haze’ to the ‘wedding days’ without slowing down for the ‘learning phase’!
You fell in love and moved so fast that your relationship foundation is now built on shaky ground. But DON'T WORRY! We are here to help you.
If you truly want your relationship to move from the casual to the committed, avoid repeating the same ‘dating haze’ mistakes, and create a lasting bond with your love without losing all the sparks, think about this quote from Ayn Rand, then watch the above video for some enlightening ideas on moving from your dating fantasy into a relationship reality.
“To say ‘I love you’ one must know first how to say the ‘I’.” — Ayn Rand (in The Fountainhead)
Our esteemed YourTango Experts panel consist of: Host, YourTango Experts senior VP Melanie Gorman, Author/Anthropologist Helen Fisher, ‘The Relationship Help Doctor’ Rhoberta Shaler, Marriage & Couples Counselor, Marcie Telander and Psychotherapist Ross Rosenberg.
Their advice on this subject is invaluable and just may help you with your dating and relationship pitfalls. Check out their websites as well and feel free to contact Helen, Rhoberta, Marcie and Ross for more insightful information.
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