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I was NOT expecting this.
By Loren Trapanese — Written on Jun 30, 2016
You and your significant other have been dating for quite some time. Naturally, you hope to take it to the next step: moving in together. Moving into your own place with your partner is a HUGE deal. What many young couples don't realize is that your relationship changes — drastically. Sometimes for the better, sometimes not.
Playing house seems all fine and dandy until having sex becomes an activity, which was once at the top of the list, but is now at the bottom.
My boyfriend and I have been dating for four years. Last year we decided that we were ready to take our relationship further and we moved in together. You know how they say every relationship goes through a honeymoon phase? Well, that applies to living together, too.
Things were fabulous. I felt grown up coming home to my boyfriend everyday, knowing that every night I would be cuddled up next to him and wake up the same way. Sex was a constant. You realize, "Oh my God, I can get it all day everyday," and it is exactly that. You can.
However, that honeymoon phases dies down real quick. Like, slap-you-in-the face quick. Initially, you may brush it off but it eventually starts to bother you. It bothered me. A LOT. I even started questioning if it was me; that maybe he wasn't attracted to me anymore.
I began making the moves on him consistently, and consistently got rejected. It hurt my self-esteem big time. I became very insecure. Sex takes a tumble and when that happens, fights happen. Because I was feeling so denied, I would pick fights with my boyfriend hoping to figure out where his sex drive went.
When you live together, you are with each other everyday. Sex isn't as big of a deal as it was when you weren't living together — sneaking in a quickie every time you were at each other's houses. Living together, you aren't as eager to "get it in."
I have been living with my boyfriend for a year and five months now and every time we have sex I can't help but wonder when it's going to happen again. Insane, right? It actually drives me nuts.
I try everything: lingerie, walking around naked, playing touchy-feely, and still it doesn't work. My boyfriend chooses his video games. I have made an effort so often that I am sick of doing so. However, a girl has needs, too! It's not fair for him to only want to have sex when HE is in the mood.
Want to hear something really pathetic? When he does decide to play (with me, not his stupid video games), I savor the moment because I know that I'm not going to be getting any for at least a few weeks. Actually, as of right now, my boyfriend and I haven't had sex in a month.
Couples think that living together is this wonderful grown-up thing, and it is! It teaches you a lot about responsibility and compatibility. But what a lot of people don't realize is that you make a ton of sacrifices, too. Sex is the biggest. Call me a liar, but how often do you hear of marriages failing? Or cheating due to lack of bedroom playtime? EXACTLY. It is the truth.
I'm, of course, not damning all who decide to move in with their significant other; I'm simply giving a heads up to those who are curious. I wholeheartedly love my boyfriend and I also love living with him. It has made our relationship all the more stronger.
Unfortunately, it altered our once thriving sex life, especially since my boyfriend and I are sexual people ... or were. I still try to keep fire the burning. I don't have much luck but I deal with it.
I don't understand how a plummeting sex life can occur when two attractive people, who are in love, live together. It doesn't seem right. We are young, and while we still look this damn fine, we should take advantage of each other, sexually (in a good way).
So: To all of you couples out there looking to take that next step, remember my forewarning: DON'T NEGLECT SEX. I am not saying that you have to be on each other like white on rice 24/7; I am simply saying to get frisky often enough with your partner so they still feel desired.
This article was originally published at lorensaidwhat.wordpress.com. Reprinted with permission from the author.