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My husband doesn't know where we keep the salt, but marriage is more awesome than it is annoying.
By Amanda Elder — Written on May 18, 2016
In a couple of days, my husband and I will be celebrating our fourth wedding anniversary. Such occasions always provoke reflection, and I can't help but think of how much I enjoy married life.
Don't get me wrong: sometimes it's aggravating, like when you compete with each other for who is Most Tired. Or when you get excited for a popsicle upon opening the freezer, but oh no, there aren't any; it's actually just an empty box.
Or when you decide to tell him you're sad, and that you don't like your new city, and that you have no friends, and it's too hot, and it storms all the time, and you'll never be a successful writer. But instead of making you feel better, he gets sad because you're sad, and all your feelings-sharing did was make everyone sad.
Or when he asks you where the salt is and you wonder if you even live in the same house together. Don't get me started on when he asks you where the ketchup is before opening the refrigerator.
It's annoying, but mostly, being married is awesome. Here are 21 ways marriage makes life better.
1. It's comfortable and secure.
I can be myself. I don't have to hold back my urge to bust a move or belt out a song. He already knows I can't sing and lack even the tiniest ability to dance. He loves me anyway, so I enjoy myself, and don't feel any shame if I do so while wearing nothing but granny panties and a tank top with our children's food remnants on it.
2. You don't have to pretend like you're not crazy.
I can be a hormonal, irrational, sensitive mess and he totally expects it. He knows it's his job to not fix my problems but to say, "I'm sorry. That must really suck" while stroking my hair.
3. You have constant reassurance.
You have someone to reassure you that your sick baby is going to be OK, that your headache isn't caused by a brain tumor, and that the turbulence is normal and the plane won't crash.
4. You'll always have a cheerleader.
Smart husbands know that what's good for you is good for them. They want the best for you, and have your back.
5. You feel a little less weird being with someone who is probably weird like you.
People just seem to match up in their types and degrees of weirdness.
6. Spouses have complementary characteristics.
My husband has a lot of the qualities that I lack, and they kind of rub off on me. So thanks to his honest and authentic nature, I have learned to be less of a people-pleaser and better at being true to myself. I've also learned to not use the towels we use on our bodies for cleaning up messes.
7. You have someone to share your secrets with.
Spouses don't keep secrets from each other, but they keep each other's, and that's a special closeness.
8. You have someone to help you make decisions.
I like to ask my husband's opinion on practically everything, that way if something goes wrong it won't be all my fault.
9. You have your own language.
Only me and my husband know that "fastupid" is being a mixture of facetious and stupid. Only we know what a "tookie" is. Or do we? I'm not sure, but we talk about tookies all the time. I'm pretty sure many couples are also good at communicating without using any words at all; only eyes are necessary.
10. You have a companion for everything you do.
There are some things I simply won't do without my husband, like take our littles to Disney World. No, I can't just replace him with another adult, because when the lights go off and the rides get scary it's Daddy they want.
11. Spouses are morally obligated to buy treats for one another.
If my husband goes to the store to buy his roasted almond Cadbury bar, he knows he better get something for me too, or else he'll have to share.
12. You'll always get the brutal, honest truth.
I don't know anyone else who is more painfully honest than my husband. One day, in preparation for his arrival home from work, I dolled myself up with some makeup (which I don't usually do), and he was all, "Whoa, what happened to your face? You look ridiculous."
13. There are legal benefits.
I won't go into tax deductions, health insurance, IRAs and that boring stuff, but our union is recognized by the law. This makes it easy for me to be a good little housewife and handle business, even if it's his business. His business is my business.
14. You share a love that's boundless.
My husband has inspected my stools before and he still manages to find me attractive. I'm pretty sure saggy skin and weird stray hairs won't turn him away as we age, either.
15. You have someone to share responsibility with.
Life is a heavy load. Make it lighter by being a team. Rock-paper-scissors for who changes the next diaper.
16. There's an element of peace that comes with settling down.
Marriage means that a lot of the big decisions in life are taken care of, and rather than wonder what your future holds, you enjoy the moment more. Life has begun.
17. You get to share yourself completely.
Marriages thrive when people are open. By sharing the good, the bad and the ugly, you feel understood and accepted for all of who you are. That's the meaning of love.
18. You face the world together.
A Swedish proverb says, "Joy shared is double joy, sorrow shared is half the sorrow." We have each other to laugh with and smile at when our kids are cute and funny. And we have each other to hold when we think we might lose it.
19. It gives you a sense of belonging.
I'm not going to lie, the title of wife makes me feel special and proud. We share a name, a family, our dreams, and our future.
20. It evokes self-discovery and improvement.
Successful people learn that it's more important to look inward when faced with marital problems rather than blame their spouse. In this way, marriage helps you be more reflective.
21. Forgiveness is abundant.
Spouses see each other's ugly sides, insecurities and shortcomings, but they constantly forgive each other and accept each other's humanness while also encouraging each other's betterment.
