6 Freaky Behaviors Men Have That Are Exactly Like Cats

Photo: Getty 
6 Freaky Behaviors Men Have That Are EXACTLY Like Cats

There are so many jokes about lonely women and cats these days that one cannot help but think, Is it really possible to find solace in a cat? Well, from the similarities I've noticed between the two, it might be. 

First things first: my mom is an icon cat-person, and even though I'm not, as a child I had plenty of experience with these pets. By the time I moved in with a guy, I was shocked to see how many freaky things they do in exactly the same manner. Here goes: 

1. They're always in the right place, at the right time.

You know how you open the fridge in the kitchen and your cat, soundly asleep just two seconds ago, rushes from a far-away bedroom? Well, the same happens anytime I unhook my bra. My boyfriend doesn't really run anywhere (because he lives in a tiny studio, and there's no different room to rush into), but he does look up every time.

Even when I don't make a single noise. Even when he's buried in work. Or looking at the window. Or talking on the phone. He turns around and looks up EVERY TIME. I seriously don't know what kind of rack-sensor he uses, and neither does he. Trust me, I've asked more than once. He just knows instantaneously. 


2. Strange objects are handled with great caution.

This isn't exactly recent viral videos of cats versus cucumbers, but still. Any new suspicious object is rounded with great caution. When my boyfriend's eyes had first fallen on a lash curler lying on my dressing table, a moment of silence followed.

He took a step back to contemplate the strange object for a while. Then he took a step closer. Then another one. Finally, he poked it carefully with his pointing finger just to lean back quickly. In a second, he took another poke — this one, with a smile. Finally, he asked, "What the hell is that? Some torture thing?"


3. Smell is a sure way to define one's territory.

A couple of male friends visited us over a weekend, and their identical black socks got mixed up. I swear to God I saw them sniffing the socks in morning. And the funniest thing is it looked like they managed to determine which pair was whose.

Well, I guess this one isn't a cat comparison exclusively; it might go for the dogs as well. But you know what? Scientists actually say that cats have a more acute sense of smell, but it's simply impossible to train them to use at customs and police service. 


4. Babies scare them, but they eventually grow on them.

There was a time when my mom had both a she-cat and a he-cat at home. Even though they were technically related, it didn't make any difference for the pets, and kittens followed. The first time a he-cat saw his little offspring, he was terrified; he couldn't even look at them and kept running away.

For a while, he ignored the kittens. By the time these love children grew up a little, he started playing with them rather actively — vigorously, but carefully. He would actually spend a lot of time engaging with the little ones. And you know what? I now observe the exact same process with my best friend's husband.

You should have seen his huge, terrified eyes when he first saw his baby boy. For over a year, all of the baby chores were on the mommy. The guy literally turned into a wallflower every time he walked into a home. Now, when the kid finally starts talking and displaying some signs of consciousness and intellect (hopefully, the road is still long), dad and the son are inseparable and are growing even closer each day.


5. Stolen pleasures are sweetest.

Have you ever left a bed in the morning just to find a cat right on your pillow a minute later? With a beamish, undisturbed look on its face? I see the same sweet, perfectly sound expression on my boyfriend's face any time he takes over my pillow. And you know what the trickiest thing is? I do have an issue of not sharing MY pillow, and he knows that. The cat did, too. 


6. Three words: Post-dinner purr.

They're just happy. And clingy. And fall asleep in your lap. And you can finally scratch them wherever you want — even their full, rounded tummies.


Sure, those are just a bunch of jokes, even though all of them are fact-based. In any case, you would be better off not training your boyfriend to use the toilet.