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You just do you.
By Bob Alaburda — Written on Nov 30, 2015
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."
You've probably never read anything by the above author Bernard M. Baruch, but to my mind, there's no better piece of advice in the world.
We have these ideas in our heads of how society expects us to act, and when we realize we don't line up with those expectations, we put on a proverbial mask to seem normal and fit in.
I say f*ck that noise.
Even in relationships, the most common advice you hear all the time is "Just be yourself." The reasoning is simple: you want someone who likes you for who you are really, not who you pretend to be.
The same logic can be extended to the rest of your life. You want to live in a world where you can be you, not an imposter just trying to fit in.
When you just be your crazy, silly self, it's like a reverse natural selection. The people who like you for who you are stick around, and the ones who don't fall away.
It's more genuine, for one. And two, it's WAY easier to not have to pretend all the time. It requires so much mental energy to maintain what's effectively a thousand little white lies.
Sure, we have to be a little more buttoned-up in professional life if we want to keep our jobs but as a whole, the benefits of letting your inner weirdo out are many. Suddenly, you're surrounded by more real, honest relationships. You're more energetic and more comfortable in your own skin.
Maintaining appearances is just so draining. It saps your time, energy and happiness.
"But how," you ask, "How do I drop all pretense when so much of social life is built upon it?"
It's simple, but not easy: You just stop giving a f*ck. Not about what other people think but whether or not other people like you. If you can accept that you can't please everybody and not everybody will like the raw, unfiltered you, you're on your way.
That's a hard thing to let go of. And I'm not saying be a jerk; I'm saying don't repress your favorite parts of yourself because someone else may not like them.
I find that if you embrace the best and brightest of yourself, then you'll naturally fill your life with other people who do, too. And that's way better than pretending to be somebody you hate to impress somebody you don't like.
Be somebody you love — and the ones you impress are the ones that will love you.
