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Let's not beat around the bush.
By Bob Alaburda — Written on Jul 07, 2022
Part of growing up and maturing as a person is learning to be more direct in your relationships.
When we're younger, most of us lack the self-confidence to be straightforward with people, especially when it comes to love. Minds and hearts are notoriously tricky, and there are so many ways to fall on your face and hurt others, or yourself, in the process.
It's no surprise we all start out a little timid. We want a person, but we don't want to directly let them know because they might reject us and break our hearts. Or, we commit little white lies to make ourselves look better or to avoid hurting other people's feelings.
Most of us gradually shed that over time. Why? Because you learn that it's so much easier to be honest and upfront with people. Love is already complex enough without having to navigate a minefield of half-truths and gamesmanship.
When you're playing games, you're just wasting everybody's time. Not to mention, you're completely eliminating the possibility that the other person would love the honest version of you.
Isn't that what we all want in the end, anyway: For someone who loves us for who we really are, instead of who we pretend to be? Besides, the dating game can't be kept up forever. Someone who plays games is just taking a circuitous route to the truth.
Perhaps that means that people who play games are only in it for the short-term, and they're hoping to get what they want before you find out. So, here are seven signs that like the police chief in every buddy cop movie, you're getting too old for this nonsense.
Here are 7 signs you're getting too old to be playing games in relationships:
1. You drop someone at the first sign of BS.
At this point, you've seen it all, and you can tell when the BS is coming. You've learned enough to know that someone who plays games isn't worth your time.
2. You're tired of helping your friends deal with bad relationships.
Maybe you've opted out of the games, but your friends are still coming to you with the most obvious relationship problems, and you so cannot be bothered anymore. They have to learn on their own eventually, right?
3. His excuses don't fly with you.
The no-show who "overslept," and the player whose stories sound a little too impressive? Amateurs. Dude, if you drive a Saturn, no one is going to believe you're an angel investor who helps build children's hospitals in his spare time.
4. You have your own life together.
Plain and simple, you've got stuff to do and goals to achieve. If someone is going to jerk you around, then you know to cut him loose before he holds you back.
5. You know what you want out of a relationship.
When you've lived long enough and have had enough relationships to really calibrate what you need out of a partner, it's never going to be someone who plays games.
6. You have children.
Regardless of your age, having kids means you have more than just yourself to consider when it comes to the consequences of a relationship. Anybody that plays games with you is hurting your children's mother, and indirectly, your children. Ain't nobody got time for that.
7. You don't respond to random booty calls.
Maybe you have a regular friend with benefits, in which case, by all means. But responding to that 3 AM text in the hopes that maybe this time he'll see more than just a bedfellow? You know better than that by now.
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Bob Alaburda is a former contributor for YourTango.