Love, Self

Is Saying 'I Do' Really A Thing Of The Past?

Is traditional marriage a thing of the past? Have our dreams of saying "I do" shifted into reluctant shrugs of "Meh, maybe. Someday?" 

Everywhere we look, the media suggests that marriage just isn't "the thing" anymore. Yet, as far back as historic records go, marriage has been a valued institution in nearly every civilization. 

So which is it? Do young couples still have their eye on that altar? Or not so much? 

Host and YourTango Senior VP of Experts Melanie Gorman sat down with notable biological anthropologist Dr. Helen Fisher, behavioral analyst Steven Sisler, divorce coach Liza Caldwell and author Cathleen Miller to get the bottom of this confusing debate. 

The Experts all agree on one thing — the idea of marriage isn't going anywhere, but what it looks like in modern society is definitely changing.  

"We are in a transition at this time when it comes to marriage," said Steven Sisler

There are reports that nearly half of all women now live with a significant other they are not married to (a dramatic increase since 1995). And, not all of those couples end up getting married (of the 12,000 interviewed, 32 percent were still unwed and living together three years later, and another 27 percent had broken up). But the Experts say this isn't a sign of the decline of marriage, but rather, just an aspect of its evolution. 

The panel share some pretty fascinating facts and surprising insights about modern marriage, including:

  • The percentage of Americans still getting married (despite the media reports)
  • The truth about the historic nature of marriage that modern couples conveniently forget
  • Whether living together first helps or hinders a successful marriage
  • The number of people who said they would still remarry their current partner if given a chance
  • The difference between "needing" to marry and "wanting" to marry in modern relationships
  • How the decline of either/or thinking is changing the way we thing about 'til death do us part 

Check out the video to hear the Experts' illuminating answers to these timely questions. We're pretty confident you'll end up thinking about modern marriage in a whole new way.

And if you need help figuring out if marriage is right for you, reach out to one of our Experts.