WATCH this if you're beyond fed up.
By Melanie Gorman and Pat Love and Barbara Ann Williams and Joan Jerkovich and Kathryn Brown Ramsperger — Written on Jul 17, 2015
Relationships are naturally prone to disagreements. But are you willing to make the effort to move past them and focus on strengthening your relationship?
Often, our individual egos work their way into our disagreements. One person must always be right no matter what, but that always leaves someone feeling hurt and resentful. The more frequently these disagreements occur, the more emotionally distant the two of you will be.
Time Out!
Look at each disagreement individually. What is the severity of each? What can you do to resolve the issue?
YourTango Experts Senior Vice President Melanie Gorman, board certified coach and radio show host Joan Jerkovich, certified coach Kathryn Brown Ramsperger, relationship coach Barbara Ann Williams and counselor and therapist Dr. Pat Love say that no matter the severity of the problem, someone must make first step forward and RECOGNIZE the problem.
Here's what these experts say are the best ways to tackle each situation:
Small Disagreements
These include anything your partner constantly says or does that pisses you off. It's something minor — like leaving the toilet seat up or leaving the lights on. The first few times, you asked calmly and politely for your partner to stop, but it never happened. Maybe he/she didn't hear you the first billion times you asked? And so you yell.
Honestly, it's not that big of a deal anyway, so it's totally worth letting go to keep your relationship intact.
Big Disagreements
These issues are what really strain your relationship. They include issues — like addiction or abuse — that require both people to work together to solve the problem.
"You alone — if you're, let's say, the victim — in this type of abusive relationship can't fix that unless your abuser is really willing to look at their part, take it very seriously, go into very diligent counseling and take all the steps necessary to, let's just say, fix that," Joan Jerkovich intently explains.
A Solution
Barbara Ann Williams also offers some wise advice to solve both types of disagreements:
"So, I say if you don't like the situation you're in, you don't like the relationship the way things are going, then you work on YOU. Again, it's an inside job. If I work on me, something's going to change about this relationship. It might not be around any longer. It might not last, but it's going to change in some way."
Scroll up to the video above to hear the YourTango Experts panel offer some more great advice to save your relationship from failure and return to a deep love.