Photo: someecards.com
Maybe greeting cards were the original GIFs. Maybe pithy copywriters know more about relationships than anyone with a slew of letters after their name (PhD, LMFT, DDS). Maybe we laugh because the only other option is to cry.
Whatever the case, a good, single-serving written joke has the ability to make anyone's day slightly better — even John Waters and that guy who NEVER stops smiling.
At any rate, here are 15 relationship-y greeting cards ranging from funny sayings, to cringe-worthy, to sexy, to never-want-to-think-about-sex-again-y. Yes, the writers at SomeECards are total geniuses. They've really cleaned up in the age of the Daguerrotype.
Yep, it's one of those lists:
Photo: someecards.com
1. I have a surprise for you...
Wait until you see it ...
Photo: KatNDrewCards.com
2. Would you be more comfortable WITHOUT clothes?
Scientifically speaking, you're more lovable if you're naked. Someone really must like you to love you clothed.
Photo: someecards.com
3. Moisture is the essence of wetness
Yes, women (and some discerning men) are predisposed to vomiting at the word "moist."
Photo: zazzle.com
4. A question that kept LMFAO up at night
Quite a scary thought, don't you think? We're going to look back in 50 years and say, "Yeah, maybe LMFAO wasn't asking the tough questions after all."
Photo: someecards.com
5. Elf On The Shelf is one creepy motherf*cker
I can barely watch TV with that weasel watching, let alone make it rain.
Photo: Red Bubble
6. That nurse is Ratchet
Well, that fantasy is officially dead. Thanks?
Photo: someecards.com
7. It's harder to miss someone in your refractory period
Yeah, I know it's 4AM but I really, REALLY miss you.
Photo: etsy.com
8. Come for the BDSM, stay for the misspelled words
Does sending this put you on a FBI watch list?
Photo: someecards.com
9. Either this is exactly on time or around 12 months too late
Yup, dads are heroes.
Photo: NobleWorksCards.com
10. Your weird aunt might like this
I like how they put an old joke together with one that's completely played out. I wonder what this card's referencing? It's probably not what we think it is ...
Photo: wanelo.com
11. Calling all carpentry lovers
I think this sums things up nicely. It's like they combined the simplicity of a nail with the complexity of "me." Great work, Shakespeare.
Photo: someecards.com
12. Keeping it classy
Whoever said there was no such thing as a free, one-way ticket to Poundtown?
Photo: someecards.com
13. I guess I'll ask if you want to be held, then
Seasonal affective order is only kind of something to joke about. I hear that, sister.
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