Photo: 20th Century Fox
Well, romance has once again died in Hollywood. Ben Affleck has announced that he's getting divorced from Jennifer Garner. My first reaction was "Oh yeah, those two are married. Well, were married." It's not that I forgot that they were married, but I also didn't really remember it either.
Affleck and Garner never really became a Hollywood power couple. They were more like a Hollywood running on fumes couple. I mean, they were married for 10 years! During that time, Affleck went from being an A-list celebrity to a has-been and then back to being an A-lister. Meanwhile, Jennifer Garner is the new spokeswoman for some airline website or credit card or something and is mainly a housewife. It's been an eventful decade for the couple.
Neither one has commented on why they're getting divorced, but we can figure it out. The tabloids have speculated that it stems from Ben Affleck's alleged gambling and cheating vices, while body language experts (read: people with eyes) think Jennifer Garner was always just way more into him than he was into her, while more still note that both parties likely began their relationship by cheating on their previous partners. So it's pretty obvious, really. But if you need help, here are 10 more reasons why the Ben Affleck-Jennifer Garner romance was doomed from the beginning!
Photo: 20th Century Fox
1. They met on the set of "Daredevil."
Nobody walked out of Daredevil saying anything positive about it, but the lack of chemistry between Affleck and Garner on screen was a major flaw in the movie. If they can't even act like they're attracted to each other, that's probably not a great start to the relationship.
Photo: Touchstone Pictures
2. He had better chemistry with other actresses.
Seriously, he was better at pretending to be love with people he wasn't actually in love with. I'm still crying over the ending to Armageddon.
Photo: PRPhotos.com
3. They were just always awkward.
Even on the red carpet, they don't look comfortable together. Seriously, this looks more like two coworkers that barely know each other posing for a forced picture than a happily married couple.
Photo: Dreamworks Pictures
4. His career was doing better than hers...
For a long time, this photo perfectly summed up Ben Affleck's career. Just standing there like a dope while something awful happened around him. The thing is, since getting together, he's always had a much better career than Garner. That can't feel good for anybody.
Photo: Buena Vista Pictures
5. This is his 'O' face.
Look at that face. Rumor has it that's the same face Affleck makes when he's getting intimate. There's only so much of that a woman can take.
Photo: Universal Studios
6. He just wasn't her Superman... or anybody's.
Ben Affleck keeps trying to be superheroes, and it never works out. Meanwhile, Garner successfully played a super spy on TV for a long time. I bet Affleck just couldn't stand that, growing more and more jealous, building resentment in his soul, creating a void that no cape or pair of tights could fill ... until he got cast as Batman and stopped caring about everything, including his marriage.
Photo: Columbia Pictures
7. "BenJen" wasn't as catchy as "Bennifer."
Jennifer Garner is the second famous Jennifer in Affleck's life. For whatever reason, the relationship between Affleck and Jennifer Lopez was just way more interesting (maybe because J.Lo has a personality?). The tabloids named the couple Bennifer, which is so much better than what he got for his relationship with Garner (BenJen).
Photo: Miramax Films
8. He doesn't know how to talk to children.
Here's a picture of Ben Affleck holding a meeting with two children. Ugh, come on Ben, children don't want to sit through meetings! That's not the guy to start a family with!
Photo: Warner Bros.
9. He kept using that awful Boston accent.
Affleck is grew up in Massachusetts, but he still can't pull off a Boston accent. He keeps doing it though, so he clearly thinks he's pulling it off. I bet the marriage ended because Garner finally snapped and told him the truth. Affleck was probably like "What?! Geet outta heyah!"
Photo: NBC
10. Their faces didn't fit together.
Not judging them, but both of them have very weirdly shaped faces. Based on this photo of them kissing, it looks like their faces just couldn't properly connect. Their gigantic jaws probably kept getting in the way.
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