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If you ARE dating a punisher, well, you need to end that. STAT.
By Jessica Sager — Written on Jun 02, 2015
You know that feeling you got when you were a kid and were called down to the principal's office? Dread, morbid curiosity, fear, a sense of impending doom? Chances are, if you're dating a punisher, you feel the same way whenever you disagree on something, or hear the words, "We need to talk." (That is, if he isn't busy icing you out, which is also a very strong possibility.)
A punisher thrives on guilt, drama and self-victimization. Nothing is ever his fault, and his happiness and well-being is entirely your responsibility.
Everything is your problem. If you make any kind of mistake — whether you eat the leftovers he never bothered telling you he wanted for lunch tomorrow, or spend too much time with a coworker at post-work drinks — you'll literally never hear the end of it.
He looks for reasons to get upset, and when he finds them ... well, he punishes you, whether it be through a silent guilt trip or incessant whining.
When it gets to an extreme degree, though, know that a punisher may veer from douchebag territory into a full-blown emotional abuser.
Still on the fence as to whether your man is a punisher? Read on and find out. And good luck, because you'll probably need it:
You're never sure when he's going to snap.
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You're all too familiar with this facial expression.
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Your arguments are pointless, but they last forever because he just can't let sh*t go.
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When your debates are finally over, he mutters under his breath or posts passive-aggressive Facebook statuses about the very issue you thought you had resolved.
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He's so focused on being angry and getting you back that he has no qualms about wrecking the foundation you built together.
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Whenever you get upset over his endless drama, he's like ...
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The silent treatment is a regular occurrence (and sometimes a relief).
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He holds grudges against everyone, not just you, and wants to drag everyone down to his miserable level.
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He loves using guilt as a weapon.
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He'll apologize occasionally, but he never actually means it.
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He withholds affection when he knows it would comfort and reassure you after a fight.
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He won't actually tell you why he's mad, just that it's your fault.
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It's to the point that whenever he opens his mouth, you're like ...
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Seriously though, why are you still dating this jerk?
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