How Putting Your Kids' Needs First Can Hurt Your Marriage [VIDEO]

It can either become a virtuous cycle—or a vicious one.

family holding hands

When it comes to parenting, our kids will always come first. One of our top priorities is making sure that our children are not only properly cared for, but are healthy too. But if we're being totally honest, taking care of the kids 24/7 can be a bit draining. Even though it seems like we should be putting our kids' well-being before our own on a constant basis, it can actually start to take a toll on our marriage.


Think about it for a second. Are there really any benefits to putting our children's needs first? When YourTango's Founder/CEO Andrea Miller speaks with Imago Institute's Harville Hendrix and Helen Lakelly Hunt, Family Therapist Joyce Fine, LPC Jamie Simkins Rogers and the Relationship Help Doctor Dr. Rhoberta Shaler about how having a strong marriage can actually improve our relationship with our kids, we couldn't agree more.  Before we can figure out whether or not, we have to ask ourselves these two questions:

  • How important is stability for our kids?
  • If we don't take care of ourselves, what message will we be sending to our kids?

In order for our kids to see us as their role models, they have to be able to understand the difference between wants and needs. Because we place so much emphasis on our kids' needs, we tend to forget what actually constitutes as such. At the end of the day, having a healthy relationship that they can depend on is much more vital to their psyche than materialistic needs.