What You Can Learn About Love By Looking At Your Parents [VIDEO]

Because love and trust starts at home.

kids on a bench

Although this may sound really cliché, we definitely think that the late actress Helen Hayes was onto something when she said "From your parents you learn love and laughter and how to put one foot before the other." As kids, there's no doubt that we're influenced by everything around us. So, it makes sense that watching the dynamics between our parents can have a lasting effect on how we see family and love.


If you've never seen what's like to be in love, it can be hard to understand just how important love is. That's why when YourTango's Senior VP Melanie Gorman speaks with author Dr. Sue Johnson, Marriage/Couples Counselor Gal Szekely, LMFT Dr. Rita DeMaria, and LCSW Marni Feuerman on just how vital having role models in our lives is, we couldn't help but agree. For instance, take a look at people whose families have been separated by divorce. If you've ever been there, you know that dealing with divorce can be incredibly painful. But that doesn't mean automatically mean that your love life is destined to follow the same path. It's all about putting everything in perspective. Whether they're together now or used to be, the way your parents act around each other (such as handling tense situations after splitting up) can make a major difference on how you view relationships. If you need an idea of just how much having a positive model of what real love looks like, think about it like this.

  • If you grew up in a household where instead of the words "I Love You", all you heard was yelling, how would that make you feel now? 
  • Would you be able to fully trust your partner when you've never understood what trusting someone really meant?

We carry our experiences with us. The point is that by looking at the connection shared between our parents, we can learn about all of the different ways that falling in love can be a beautiful thing.