Photo: Getty
66% of women and 59% of men have broken up with bad kissers.
By Amanda Chatel — Written on Apr 22, 2022
Big news, you guys! We've finally got an answer as to what makes someone a bad kisser.
Everybody wants to be a good kisser. Kissing is an extremely important part of relationships and of our overall health. Kissing not only does wonders for our self-esteem, but it reduces stress and anxiety and provides for our relationships a connection that even sex can't offer.
A bad kisser can make or break the potential for love.
In The Science of Kissing: What Our Lips Are Telling Us, Sheril Kirshenbaum references a study that found that 66 percent of women and 59 percent of men have broken up with people just because they were bad kissers.
In fact, if you can't bring your A-game to the kissing party on a first date, then you can pretty much forget about a second one.
We already know that bad kissing can be the kiss of death (pun!), but what exactly is bad?
EliteSingles talked to dating, relationship, and body language expert Katia Loisel about what truly makes a bad kiss. We summarized the top five signs they found and then added five more of our own.
10 Signs of a Bad Kisser
1. Using a lot of tongue.
It's exactly what it sounds like. The sloppy kiss leaves the mouth and face of your partner drenched in your saliva. Why would you do that?
Save that saliva for what it’s supposed to be for: breaking down your food before it hits your digestive system.
Too much tongue action is not so hot. Start slow, and work your way to the French kiss.
2. Not putting in any effort.
Oh, I'm sorry, are you bored? Even if you’re not, your dead fish kiss is saying otherwise.
You know how they say it takes “two to tango”? Well, the same goes for kissing. Even if you’re unsure about your kissing skills, at least make an effort, I mean, at least try to move your lips.
3. Shoving your tongue down their throat.
No. No. No! This one is just a boatload of gross, and isn't fun for someone with a sensitive gag reflex. Do you want to be thrown up on? Do you?!
4. Darting your tongue in and out.
What are you, some sort of reptile? As Loisel says, “Darting your tongue in and out of their mouth like a snake isn't likely to get you a second date."
And while "tongue kissing" is rated higher by men than women, it doesn’t mean you need to stab at your partner's mouth. That's just weird.
5. Kissing too hard.
While it might look great in movies, this is a hard one to execute in real life.
For starters, the passion behind it is awesome, but if you kiss so hard that you’ve taken complete control of the situation and are not allowing your partner to give a little back, then you’ve failed.
Go home, hard kisser, you’re drunk.
Photo: Elite Singles
6. Having bad breath.
You're not always going to have the best smelling breath, and many times, when kissing happens in the heat of the moment, there's no time to stop and brush your teeth or pop a mint.
But if you know you don't have the freshest breath, do your partner a favor and stick to a few quick closed-mouth kisses instead of going for the French kiss that'll overwhelm their senses.
7. Tilting your head the wrong way.
Pay attention to the side your partner tilts their head as they go to kiss you and follow suit. Otherwise, things can get all kinds of awkward.
8. Not using tongue at all.
While too much tongue is never a good thing, no tongue at all is a lot more like kissing a family member than the passionate embrace a kiss with your partner should be.
9. Biting too hard.
A little nibble on the lips can be a turn on, but remember you're kissing someone, not attacking them! No need to cause pain or even worse, draw blood.
10. Bumping teeth.
While bumping your teeth during a kiss might happen every now and then, if it happens multiple times during a kiss, try slowing down and correcting your rhythm.
How do you fix a bad kisser?
Practice makes perfect. You shouldn't tell someone they're bad at kissing, just focus on what you prefer.
Then it makes them feel that the kiss is more about you than it is about them.
Don't have a heavy makeout session before brushing your teeth.
It's not possible to have fresh breath at all times but keep the open-mouthed kissing for times when you've been able to brush your teeth or chew some gum.
Stay hydrated.
Make sure you drink enough water to keep your mouth and lips from drying out.
Make sure the kiss is appropriate.
This means you should not only have consent before going in for the kiss but also make sure the kiss is appropriate to the setting you're in. No one wants to see a couple having a full-on makeout session in their restaurant booth.
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Amanda Chatel is a writer who divides her time between NYC and Paris. She's a regular contributor to Bustle and Glamour, with bylines at Harper's Bazaar, The Atlantic, Forbes, Livingly, Mic, The Bolde, Huffington Post and others.