I Tried The Bumper Car Sex Position And It Was Basically Necrophila

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sex positions

Of all the sex positions I've tried, this little number might be the strangest. And the most impossible and confusing. Unless your man has an exceptionally long dong, the Bumper Cars sex position doesn't seem like a particular enjoyable or physically feasible position.

This is how it goes: The woman lays on her stomach with legs splayed open. The guy in question lies down on his stomach facing 180 degrees in the opposite direction with his legs splayed wide open as well. He then backs up until his penis is aligned with the lady's vagina. Now in position, he can enter, making sure not to stretch out his penis.


When J and I got to trying it we were a little nervous. Would this even be fun? We quickly assumed position.

"Dude, how do I get my dick in you?" This is never something you want to hear when you're about to have sex with a guy.

"Well, that sounds hot. Angle it down more and I'll angle my vag up," I responded.

I arched my butt up a like a dog while my face lay smushed into the bed. It was awkward to say the least. Good thing I had just washed my sheets.

"OK I got it in," J said as though he was trying to screw in a lamp. As he started thrusting, I realized I couldn't move lest his penis slide out of my vag since penetration was so shallow. So basically, I had to lie there like a corpse. It somewhat was like necrophilia, minus the smell of decomposition. I was not feeling the Bumper Cars sex position.

"Are you enjoying this?" I asked.

"I feel like I'm getting chest burn from rubbing back and forth on the bed," he replied.


On a positive note, I was able to massage his calves and he mine. Unfortunately, I really wanted my clitoris massaged and not my legs or feet. Though I couldn't help but think that anyone with a foot fetish would love this.

We finally decided we had enough of trying to bump butts and switched to good old doggy style. At least there would still be some rear action. In the future, I'll save bumper cars for the amusement park.