How To Have Sex Like A Total Pro (According To Total Pros)

Top experts share their secrets to having the best sex of your life.

How To Have Better Sex: Experts Give Their Best Tips & Advice Danny Kekspro on Unsplash

What happens when you ask the foremost love, relationship and sex experts in the world for their favorite tips and tricks for how to have better sex?

You get a lot of useful information on how to have not only better sex, but the best sex ever!

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It was hard picking just a few favorites, but here's what we thought was the cream of the crop.

Here are the 10 best tips on how to have better sex from top experts in the field.

1. Focus on self-pleasure

"Try making solo sex a priority for a month. Make a goal to grow your solo sex repertoire. Learn to orgasm on your own. Learn what your body is hungry for."

Angel Snow, Sex Coach & Sex Educator

2. Use your sense of touch

"The foundation of sex is touch, but most of us never learn how to use our hands to give pleasure. Take the time to master the skills of massage and erotic touch and you'll unlock way more pleasure. The hand is the best sex toy ever invented — and you never need to change the batteries!"


Chris, Pleasure Mechanics

3. Ask questions about preferences

"Being great in bed is learned through practice, guidance, paying attention to the guys' sounds and moves and books. Not sure if you're good? Ask questions like, 'What did you most like?' or 'Do you like it better when I use my hands, too, or just my mouth?' But don't ask him how you did during or even immediately after sex. Instead, ask a few hours later, in a place where you both feel relaxed, open, and interested in communicating."

Laurel House, Author and International Dating Coach

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4. Say, "Yes!"

"Instead of thinking up excuses for why you don't want to have sex with your partner, coming up with reasons why you don't want to attempt something new like role play or light bondage, and denying your own fantasies, what if you just said yes and allowed yourself to be open to the experience?


Opening yourself up to the possibilities allows you to connect more deeply with your partner — and your own desires."

Debra Smouse, Author and Life Coach

5. Remember the golden rule of better sex: "Ladies first."

"We recommend always bringing her to orgasm before penetration. This strategy takes the pressure off of his performance, makes intercourse way more pleasurable and guarantees both of you feel satisfied every time!"

— Chris, Pleasure Mechanics

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6. Connect on multiple levels during sex

"Great sex is much more than a physical act. When you and your partner are connected on multiple levels, such as mentally, emotionally and spiritually, your sex life will be even better than you could have imagined."


Janet Ong Zimmerman, Relationship Coach and Co-Author of Sexy Secrets to a Juicy Love Life 

7. Use your mouth in more ways than one

"Dirty talk. It will instantly change your sex life. More than you talking, you've got to get your guy to start talking.

In fact, the guy should do 95 percent of the talking. How do you get him to open his mouth? Be the example. You first. Adding dirty talking to your sexual routine will allow you to orgasm longer, harder and more!"

— Laurel House, Author and International Dating Coach

8. Focus on feeling and pleasure during sex

"All too often, women are anxious about what they look like in bed. We recommend focusing on your sensations. Close your eyes, go inside and pay attention to sensation. Once you realize how much pleasure your body is capable of feeling, your self-esteem will shoot through the roof!"


— Chris, Pleasure Mechanics

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9. For better sex, arouse all of the senses

Touch: satin sheets, smooth skin. Smell: candles, oils. Taste: chocolate-covered strawberries, champagne. Sight: you in sexy lingerie. Sound: relaxing, sexy music."


Lora Andersen

10. Enthusiasm and eagerness go a long way!

"Nothing is hotter for your man than a partner who is enthusiastic and eager to try out new things in the bedroom. So talk dirty, take the lead every once in a while, initiate sex, and be the first to suggest a new position."

Sean Jameson, Sex Expert and owner of Bad Girl's Bible

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Monica Green is a New York-based writer who has contributed to Good Housekeeping, The Knot, and Bustle, among others.