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He already knows how to be in a marriage.
By Amanda Chatel — Last updated on Nov 18, 2023
With the divorce rate hanging around the 50 percent mark, there's a decent chance that at some point in your life, you'll find yourself smitten with a divorced guy and you'll be faced with the decision of whether or dating a divorced man is a good idea.
While it may seem a little shady at first — especially if he has extra baggage like kiddos — divorced men sometimes have more to offer than guys who have never taken the plunge. According to the Millionaire Matchmaker, Patti Stanger, divorced men are a "girl's best kept secret."
Well, we're letting the secret out now. Here's why you should take a shot at dating a divorced man.
Here are 7 little-known benefits of dating a divorced guy:
1. He believes in serious, long-term commitment
Although it may have not worked the first time around, the fact that he did get married shows that he believes in commitment. That’s a big deal in a society that's becoming more and more disillusioned with marriage.
2. Your alone time is awesome
Statistically, married couples are intimate less than those who aren’t hitched. According to The Social Organization of Sexuality, 80 percent of married couples are only intimate a few times a month.
If that was the case in his past relationship, just think about how buck wild he'll be in the sack now that he's with someone who wants to do it all the time, or at least more than his ex-wife.
3. He "gets" it
He’s been there and done that. He understands about ups and downs, petty arguments, and the struggles that come with a serious relationship. It's not easy to keep things smooth sailing at all times, and just because his marriage didn't work out, it doesn't mean he's not up to the challenge to do it again.
4. His kids come along for the ride
If you're cuckoo for babies but aren't ready to have a few of your own, then a divorced guy who has a kid or two will give you the baby fix you're looking for without overwhelming you and crowding your style.
5. He's housebroken
I'm definitely not one to equate men with dogs, even when they're being the absolute worst, but Stanger says, "Divorced men come already housebroken. Another woman has done the hard work of teaching him to put the seat down, call when he's late, and tread lightly during a bad week." Good point, and definitely a plus.
6. He has his ducks in a row
Having been married and then divorced, he's not only had his fair share of drama, both good and bad but he's probably had ample opportunity to do some soul-searching. A man, who knows who he is and what he wants, is always a catch.
7. He's learned from his mistakes
As with any relationship that has failed, romantic or otherwise, lessons are always learned. A divorced guy who signed up for the long haul but didn’t quite make it can probably stare his mistakes in the face and realize how not to make them again.
Takeaway? Don't throw in the towel on a guy just because his past involves a divorce. Relationships start and end every day, and if we didn't give people a chance just because they have a breakup under their belt, then we'd totally miss out on the potential for something great.
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Amanda Chatel is an essayist and intimacy health writer for Yourtango, Shape Magazine, Hello Giggles, Glamour, and Harper's Bazaar.