Are some jobs instant dealbreakers? Is passion all that matters? Ladies get honest about your job.
By Amanda Chatel — Written on Dec 12, 2013
Last week when we asked women what they think about men and their income we found that, contrary to a comment that declared the piece "wrong," women actually don't care about millionaires. It's 2013, and although the wage gap still needs to be closed quickly, most women are more than capable of taking care of themselves financially, and are making more money than they did decades ago. Frankly, guys, we can do this thing on our own, but that doesn't mean we still don't want a partner in crime for the fun stuff.
Although we may not care about how much bank a man is making, how do we feel about how he's making that money, or lack there of? Do women turn their noses up at the thought of dating a barista, a gas station attendant, or a cashier at Target? Are some jobs immediate dealbreakers?
For this week's "What Women Really Think …" we asked ladies how they feel about men's jobs, and found that our own maturity makes a huge difference in how we accept the professions of others.
It's more about long-term goals, than a fancy job. Well, for some of us.
"How he's starting isn't as important as his goal for the end — barista, waiter but going to school or next in line for manager, etc," says Nikki, 28.
"I have dated various dudes with various jobs. I've dated Air Force, Army, liquor store clerk, security guard (married that one), drafter, optometry student, 'musician,' and others. I wouldn't discount someone because of what they do. I think a good work ethic is the most important thing," says Colleen, 29.
"As long as he's into what he's doing ... but I think I might not be into a manager at Chick-Fil-A. I might be into a barista, but not a Starbucks barista. So maybe I'm more snobbish than I think," says Autumn, 24."
"I've spent my life going out with broke dudes, artist, musicians, etc., who are working as baristas and bartenders, or flat unemployed, in the service of their art. And honestly, I'm not materialistic, but I don't want to be with anyone who plans to stay broke in the name of art or bohemia. A, I'm a writer, and therefore, destined to be poor myself. B, I want to find someone who's serious about laying the groundwork for a family. I want to be comfortable, and I want that for my children. I guess that's selfish, privileged POV, but most artists I've dated are really pretty self-involved and loving their life of casual sex and squalor. That's fine. I just want to find a man with a real job, and/or plans to get one. If he's started a business and it's shaky at first, that's enough to impress me," says Lisa, 32.
"We've all gotta retire someday, so nobody wants a partner who's unemployable, and the rolling-stone-who-gathers-no-moss isn't hot once the rolling stone starts going bald and hasn't caught a break in his music career. It's just another form of permanent emotional adolescence. I'd much rather have a guy with an unimpressive stable job earning an average income than a dreamer who's shown nothing for his life, hoping to make it big," says Dee, 35.
"More important to me is that he has some goals in his life and career, which generally translates to him probably having an undergraduate degree in my mind. But I wouldn't say a degree is a requirement either. Not sure I give a fig about where he actually works for the time being, as long as he has a goal and a realistic plan to get there," says Jen, 26.
Speaking of the education …
"When I was dating I looked for guys with at least my level of education, so at least a bachelor's degree. (When I was in college that meant they were too or they had graduated with a bachelor's degree.) I don't know if I would have seriously dated anyone who didn’t have a college degree … probably not. I'm kind of an elitist bitch, especially about intelligence and education," says Lindsay, 30.
"On the topic of education, it certainly helps, but as a chronic online dater I've found a college degree is no guarantee of basic literacy. A non-degreed dude who can effectively communicate verbally and in writing [is better than] a degreed dude who can't," says Dee, 35.
But in the end, if you don’t have passion, then you have nothing at all… except maybe some folding skills.
"When I was younger, I thought education mattered. As I got older I realized I wanted to be with someone who was passionate about something whether that's his art or his job, or both — doesn't matter," says Francesca, 35.
"It doesn't matter what he does as long as he's at least content with it, he's at least somewhat passionate about it, and he has goals and works hard for them," says Monika, 25.
"I believe in passion above all else, but can anyone really be passionate about their job if it's folding leggings at American Apparel for the rest of their lives?" asks Sarah, 30.
The lesson we've learned this week? Some ladies, clearly, have issues with chain stores! And, more importantly, some just want you to love what you do.
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