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You can do this.
By Elizabeth Stone — Written on Oct 19, 2016
Have you been struggling with thoughts of an ex who just isn’t around anymore? Are you thrilled he’s gone, but having trouble ending the obsession over him and just plain feeling bad about your breakup?
Try these eleven simple and easy tips for how to get over your ex:
1. Go cold turkey.
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Sometimes your ex is an addiction. The best way to break an addiction like this is to go cold turkey. Don’t call, text, email, skype or communicate by pigeon.
Avoid him on all social media sites. Don’t telegraph him subliminal messages with your profile updates. Better yet, delete him from all of these sites so you don’t see his newest status updates and get thrown into a funk.
2. Stop Facebook stalking him.
Tell your girlfriends who are still social media friends with him that you don’t want to hear about anything he does or says online.
3. Learn something new or renew a hobby.
This is an excellent time to pick a new hobby or start something up again that you haven’t done in a while. What have you always wanted to try but never had time for? Have you been neglecting your hiking boots, guitar or commitment to narrative poetry?
Dust off your old hobbies and master classical guitar. Do whatever you need to do to stay distracted.
4. Get rid of everything that reminds you of him.
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If you can’t bear to throw these items in the trash yet, box them up and put them deep in a dark closet or give them to a trusted friend.
5. Call all of your friends.
Renew your friendships with your girls. Once you get the breakup story out of the way, shut up about your ex and enjoy your friends’ company. Don’t forget to ask about their lives also.
You don’t want to be the friend whose calls get ignored because she always prattles on and on about her ex. Your friends who love you will definitely listen to a significant amount of B.S. about how devastated you are, but this leads us to this next tip.
6. Don’t say his name.
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Make your ex’s name forbidden. After the initial first 3 weeks of a bad breakup, vow to stop talking about your ex. Tell your good friends that you don’t want to talk about him or hear about him at all. If they’re really good friends, this shouldn’t be a problem.
7. Take yourself out on a date.
You’re going to have to adjust to single life again. Sometimes single life involves doing things alone. Take yourself to dinner and a movie. Go to a place you love with a good book and then pick the movie for once.
Focus on feeling nurtured and positive about the experience, rather than scared and lonely. Focus on the self-nurture aspect of spending some time and money on yourself.
8. Take a spa day.
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Zone out and get a massage or a facial. While this can get pricey if you do it all the time, sometimes there is no better way to soothe emotional wounds than to improve your exterior.
If you just can’t afford a trip to the spa, make your bathroom into an oasis and take a long bath with candles and a good book.
9. Join a gym.
Did you gain a few pounds during that failed relationship? This is a great time to get in shape. Have a few lingering new years resolutions that you've never really met? There’s no better time than the present to start working on your body.
If you’re like me, you don’t really feel like eating much after a bad breakup, so you might as well use it to your advantage.
10. Turn Comedy Central on repeat.
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Sometimes laughter really is the best medicine.
11. Do NOT run into him.
There’s no one better acquainted with his daily routine than you are. In this spirit, avoid places he hangs out, avoid places on his daily route, avoid, avoid, avoid anywhere you might possibly see him.
Even months later, it will still feel crappy to see him. Similar to going cold turkey, but very important.
12. Dip your toe into the dating pool.
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You may not feel ready to date anyone new seriously, and this is okay. Just consider the idea that there are other guys out there and some of them are wonderful.
If you don’t trust yourself to come home from a date and miss your ex boyfriend even more, leave the toe-dipping alone until you’re ready. You know who you are and what stage you’re in.
The bottom line is... getting over a breakup is a two step forward, one step backward process. One day you feel wonderful and ready to move on. The next day you wake up with that ball of ice in your stomach and feel like you couldn’t possibly miss him more than you already do.
Let this emotional process be okay. The more you do the things on this list and stay positive about yourself, the easier it will be to get over your ex.
If you keep finding yourself in dead-end relationships with guys who pull away or dump you, get yourself a free copy of my book, Why Men Lose Interest and daily (almost) email series. You don't have to keep dealing with guys who break your heart.
