43 Anti-Love Quotes From The World's Most Famous Cynics

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Heartbreak, Love

Gotten burned by love? Play it cool with one of these zingers.

Whether it's a funny one-liner or a genuinely jaded jab, sometimes great love quotes can really speak to what you're feeling — especially when you're feeling the sting of love gone south.

Continue below to read what some of the world's greatest cynics had to say about love:

1.

"Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution."  
— Mae West

2.

"Women don't want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think — in a deeper voice." 
— Bill Cosby

3.

"Love is a promise delivered already broken."
— Steve Martin

4.

"Men should be like Kleenex: soft, strong, disposable."
— Cher

5.

"My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we miet." 
— Rodney Dangerfield

6.

"Love is a temporary insanity curable by marriage."
— Ambrose Bierce

7.

"By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher."
— Socrates

8.

"A kiss may ruin a human life."
— Oscar Wilde

9.

"My love life is like a piece of Swiss cheese. Most of it's missing, and what's there stinks."
— Joan Rivers

10.

"Love is a grave mental disease."
— Plato


11. 

"You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it."
— Henny Youngman

12.

"Marriage is like a tense, unfunny version of 'Everybody Loves Raymond', only it doesn't last 22 minutes. It lasts forever."
— Knocked Up

13.

"If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married."
— Katharine Hepburn

14.

"Behind every successful man is a woman, and behind her is his wife."
— Groucho Marx

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15.

"Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke."
— Lynda Barry

16.

"If you love something set it free, but don't be surprised if it comes back with herpes." 
― Chuck Palahniuk

17.

"Love is a trap. When it appears, we see only its light, not its shadows."
— Paulo Coelho

18.

"Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes."
— Jim Carrey

19.

"Love in action is a harsh and dreadful thing compared with love in dreams."
— Fyodor Dostoyevsky

20.

"Deceiving others. That is what the world calls a romance."
— Oscar Wilde

21.

"A man is only as faithful as his options."
— Chris Rock


22.

"Romance has been elegantly defined as the offspring of fiction and love."
— Isaac Disraeli

23.

"Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell." 
 Joan Crawford

24.

"Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby: awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess." 
― Lemony Snicket 

25.

"Love sucks. Sometimes it feels good. Sometimes it's just another way to bleed." 
― Laurell K. Hamilton

26.

"The most happy marriage I can picture or imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman."
 Samuel Taylor Coleridge

27.

"Love is a many splintered thing."
— The Simpsons

28.

"God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time."
— Robin Williams

29.

"Falling in love is so hard on the knees."
— Aerosmith

30.

"You can never be wise and be in love at the same time." 
― Bob Dylan

31.

"My love is expansive. Your love is expensive.
" 
― Jarod Kintz

32.

"Love is only the dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species."
— W. Somerset Maugham

33.

"Can there be a love which does not make demands on its object?"
— Confucius

34.

"A woman is faithful to her first lover for a long time — unless she happens to take a second."
— Francois de La Rochefoucauld

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35.

"Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing to die."
 Johnny Carson

36.

"No woman ever falls in love with a man unless she has a better opinion of him than he deserves."
— Edgar Watson Howe

37.

"A woman tries to get all she can out of a man, and a man tries to get all he can into a woman."
— Isaac Goldberg

38.

"A man's love is incomplete until he has married, then he is finished."
— Zsa Zsa Gabor

39.

"What's love but a secondhand emotion?"
— Tina Turner

40.

"People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy."
— Bob Hope

41.

"Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city."
— George Burns

42.

"Honeymoon: A short period of doting between dating and debating." 
— Ray Bandy

43.

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it." 
— Groucho Marx
 

Love is life’s greatest gift, which is why people have a passion for love quotes - and we’ve got you covered. When it comes to saying “I love you”, the truth about marriage, or even finding the perfect love quote for your guy, we have all the cute (or sexy!) quotes you need.

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