Weird News: Woman Sues Over Her Roommate's Sexcapades

pillows over ears

Show of hands for everyone who has had to endure the sound of people having sex nearby. Even though all of you likely watch or have watched porn, the idea of having it happen IRL and close enough for you to hear flesh on flesh (not to mention those phony moans; you're only fooling yourself, sugar) is enough to put a pencil through your eardrum. Not to be melodramatic, but it's amongst the worst things ever (especially when you're not getting any push in your own life).

But, though you're free to cry about it, you may not livestream it or sue over it. Per Enterprise News (not a Star Trek fan site, it turns out), a judge from Stonehill College has thrown out a lawsuit against the school. The suit was due to a roommate causing emotional damage via her sexual appetites, proclivities and mores. Essentially, the woman had no qualms over boning with her boyfriend while just precious feet away from her roomie — plus, getting freak nasty on the video chats. The suit alleged that the college, located in one of my favorite Boston suburbs, Easton, MA, did little to aid the plaintiff's predicament, thus causing her to fall into a deep well of depression and eventually drop out of school.

While her discrimination lawsuit has fallen upon deaf ears, the plaintiff, Lindsay Blankmeyer, is still able to sue the college for failure to provide reasonable accommodations. The discrimination lawsuit stems from the college's inability to help her cope with her ADD and depression. And it's fair that someone having sex next to you is particularly distracting and depressing if you are prone to either hyperactivity or melancholia.

Personally, I'd settle for a free semester of room, board and tuition plus a sincere apology from the roommate. Also, Stonehill should be made, by statute, to publish a list of acceptable ways to let your roommate know you need the room for a while. Personally, I go for different styles of tie-knots left on the doorknob, with a full-Windsor meaning, "clear out for 20 hours, there is some birthday sex going down up in here."

Check out more stories from YourTango: