Friends With An Ex: Is It Always Bad For Your Relationship?

goldfish jealousy
Love, Family

We already knew exes can spell trouble for relationships. Now science is backing it up.

When dealing with a case of the ex, there are generally two schools of thought.

First, there's the "We're just friends, it's harmless, I only have eyes for you" group of people, who believe friendships with ex-lovers cause no real harm. On the opposite end are those (myself included) who feel that all ties with ex-boyfriends and girlfriends should be severed in order for new relationships to flourish.

Well, ladies and gents, if you're a member of the "no ex is a good ex" party, then celebrate! We've got science on our side now.

Allow me to explain: Canadian researchers recently found that staying chummy with a former flame can seriously affect the foundation of existing romantic relationships. Interestingly, it goes both ways: Having warm thoughts about an ex decreases the quality of current relationships, while low relationship satisfaction can also create some seriously warm thoughts about an ex.

To come to this conclusion, the researchers studied 123 men and women over the course of six months, asking questions regarding their current relationship status and satisfaction, and their relationships with former partners.

Researchers believe nostalgia plays a big role in longing for an ex, especially when a current relationship seems to be taking a turn for the worse. It's even more dangerous if your boyfriend or girlfriend is still friends with their most recent ex, as a recent ex is a more viable alternative in the case of a split than an ex from several years ago.

Sure, a past lover can offer a sense of comfort, especially when a current romance hits rocky points. However, if you're like me, you can simply remind your significant other that there was a good reason the two split in the first place, and ask that the conversations and chumminess be kept to a minimum. It's not considered being possessive or jealous — it's simply relationship preservation, grounded in science!

Are you comfortable with your significant other being friends with an ex?

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