Love, Sex

Help! My Boyfriend Doesn't Find Me Attractive!

sarah silverman

Dear Wendy,

I'm in a long-distance relationship, and my boyfriend is nice and sweet and we connect really well. We had been friends for several years before we started dating, and back when we first became friends, he had the hots for another (super hot) friend of mine. However, she wasn't into him and that didn't work out. A couple of years later, we got together. Now, the thing is, even though other aspects of this relationship are going well he has said, more than once, that: a) he doesn't find me hot; and b) that friend of mine is getting hotter each day. 

One time, we were talking about cartoons, and he said (jokingly) how even a proper portrait of mine would look like a cartoon, I'm so ridiculous looking. I try to take these things sportingly because I have no illusions about how I look. I'm short, and though I'm not fat per se, I'm rather curvy and could do with losing at least a few pounds. A few days ago I had gone out for dinner to this nice place, and I had called him up to tell him how fantastic the food there was, and how I had stuffed myself. But before I could properly launch into my story, he started talking about how, if I eat so much, one day I will blow up to the size of a balloon and how he is sad that he will never have a hot girlfriend. I fell silent, and he probably realized that maybe (even jokingly) he had crossed a line. He apologized, and we hung up. The Frisky: 10 Things You Should Never Say To An Emotional Woman

Now, I have no qualms about people who speak their minds, and as such, shouldn't have a problem with my boyfriend speaking the truth as well. However, I find myself feeling rather hurt and sad at his repeated assertions about this, and it's taking a toll on my relationship. Tell me, am I making a mountain out of a molehill? Should I say/do something so that my boyfriend stops saying these things? The thing is, even if he DOES stop saying this, at the back of my mind I'll always be thinking that even though he's not saying this out aloud, he's probably thinking that I'm not good looking enough. What should I do? — Not Hot Enough

To read Wendy's answer, hop over to The Frisky: Dear Wendy: My Boyfriend Doesn't Think I'm Hot Enough

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This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission from the author.