If You Listen To These 3 Bands, NOBODY Will Date You, Study Says

Photo: weheartit
If You Listen To These 3 Bands, NOBODY Will Date You

I'm a self-professed music snob. I make no apologies about this. I was a DJ in college, I have more vinyl than you, and I will judge you for your taste in music. Why? Simple: I have better taste in music than you ever will. 

So is my kind of dating site. Finally, someone got it right and decided, "Hey, let's match people based on their taste in music." Brilliant. conducted a study to see which bands or artists are dating deal-breakers. The top three? Nickelback, Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga.

Please note that I can't name a single song by any of those three artists. I don't know the first thing about Nickelback, so I did a quick iTunes scan. One word: gross. One word is all they deserve. Justin Bieber? Two words, one former pop star: Leif Garrett. Don't know him? Look him up and that's your beloved Bieber in 15 years. Next, we have Lady Gaga. While I won't say she completely sucks, her music is tacky and over-processed — just like her hair.

A few others also on the list? Such "favorites" as U2 (gag me with Bono's sunglasses), Creed (someone stab my eardrums) and Coldplay (I just threw up in my mouth). And yes, the rumors are true: I did stop seeing a guy once because he had Coldplay on his iPod. Why? Because my vagina and ears have standards, that's why.

HowAboutWe did a breakdown of what bands might say about the listener. Interesting idea, but I'm not buying what they're selling. According to them, you may not want to date someone who listens to Leonard Cohen all the time, because his "point of view is very self-centered and questionable." Oh, how I disagree.

If you're lucky enough to find someone who has Cohen records on repeat, then you just found yourself a philosopher. Also, anyone who listens to such favorites of mine like Bon Iver and The Smiths is apparently a "sad bastard who will bring you down." Again, I disagree. Go listen to "Ask" or "You Just Haven't Earned It Yet, Baby" by The Smiths and tell me how you feel afterward. Then, we can revisit this topic. If you don't get it, you're not my cup of tea.

I will always put music taste at the top of my priority list; it's up there with politics, religion and sexy, scruffy beards. Trust me on this one: Music is really, really important when it comes to love.

I should probably quote an obscure band here, but don't want to reprove how painfully and gorgeously pretentious I am on the matter. Then again, maybe I'm just scarred because my sister married a Grateful Dead fan and now has to put up with him.

Sign up for YourTango's free newsletter!