70% Of People Won't Date You If You Disagree On This One Thing
Is this a dealbreaker for you?
Paulina Holisz I | Unsplash As someone who has long considered herself a music snob (thanks to those years as a college DJ), someone's taste in music has always been paramount for me. If I started dating someone whose taste in music didn’t line up with mine, I knew it wouldn’t last.
I thought perhaps I was alone in my ridiculous thinking until one night I was talking to a guy friend who told me about how he broke up with a girl in college because she had too much Tori Amos for "my liking," as he explained.
I applauded his honesty. When I recap in my brain all the bands for which I have a feverish disdain, I still stand by the fact that music taste is just as much of a dealbreaker as halitosis or for which political party you vote. You can keep your Michele Bachmann to yourself, thank you very much.
70% of people won't date you if you disagree on this one thing
But the good news, for me anyway, and for that guy friend of mine, is that our snobbery, or rather, our preference for people who have similar taste in music as us is more common than not.
A study of how music affects relationships and dating found that 70 percent of people would not date someone who has "vastly different music tastes from their own."
Hear! Hear!
If you're the type of person who enjoys kicking back with some country twang, do you think you could really be in a long-term relationship with someone who’s still mourning the loss of the golden years of Public Enemy and plays them obsessively to fill that void? Sorry!
Different tastes in the music category just don't cut it for most singles.
Prostock-studio / Shutterstock
Besides, as the same study notes, those who have "grown up [with] bands such as the Rolling Stones, The Who, Led Zeppelin and Fleetwood Mac … it's very possible that these songs [influence] their lifestyle." Doing drugs and being with women left and right doesn't exactly coincide with someone who thinks Enya is all the rage.
The music question is also one that comes up very often on dates. You’re mid-meal, and you've talked about where you're from, your college major, and the like, so what's next? "So, what kind of music do you like?"
There are even sites out there, like TasteBuds, that truly know the value and importance of finding a mate who shares your taste in music and matches you with someone who just gets it.
You know, that person who just truly understands that Nickelback is one of the greatest bands of our time. I don't know who those people are, but isn't it nice to know you're not alone in this cold, harsh, judgmental world?
While music taste may seem like just one other obstacle, or even excuse, to keep us from finding the one, in reality, it's no more absurd than so many of the other deal-breakers out there.
Studies show that couples with similar musical tastes report higher levels of relationship satisfaction, emotional availability, and communication.
However, some experts also emphasize that other factors, like shared values and communication styles, are crucial for long-term compatibility.
So, the next time you decide halfway through a date that he's not the one for you because, despite being a 29-year-old finance guy, he thinks Justin Bieber is a musical genius, don't feel bad.
You're among the 70 percent of other sane people who feel the same way. How much does music matter to you when it comes to finding a partner?
Amanda Chatel has been a wellness and relationship journalist for over a decade. Her work has been featured in Glamour, Shape, Self, and other outlets.
