7 Bad Celebrity Mothers

Photo: Bauer-Griffin.
Dina Lohan worst celebrity mothers
Contributor

Sunday is Mother's Day, so naturally we're thinking of reasons we're thankful for our moms. They gave us life, fed us, clothed us, told us that prom dress made us look like a two-dollar hooker...you know, all the good things conscientious moms do. And we're especially glad that our moms were not showbiz fameballs who accompanied us to nightclubs or angled for their own reality shows. Join us, won't you, as we take a look at some crummy moms who'll make you want to hug yours for an hour. Oh, and then check our YourTango's new mommyblog and share favorite mom tales.

Dina Lohan

Let's count the ways Dina Lohan is bad at parenting. She went clubbing with her minor daughter. She rode her daughter's fame to her own reality show, in which she exploited her other children. She refuses to acknowledge that Lindsay has a drug and alcohol problem, even after two DUIs. She's pimping out her younger daughter, 16-year-old Ali, and has repeatedly lied about her own past. Sure, Dina's ex-husband, Michael Lohan, is even more reprehensible than she is, but it takes two messed-up parents to create the ongoing disaster that is Hurricane Lindsay. The best we can say for her is that she made Lindsay go to her deposition in that coke-pants-car-hijacking case earlier this week. Except that they were at the Chateau Marmont at 2 a.m. the night before the deposition. Seriously, WTF. Lindsay Lohan Goes Mental On Sam Ronson Again

Kris Kardashian-Jenner

For the record, we are 100% against giving all of your kids names that start with the same letter. Especially when that requires that you misspell their names (cough...Kourtney). And we're against filming your preteen daughters as they work the stripper pole that's in your bedroom. And we're against parlaying another daughter's adventures in amateur porn into a reality show (Kris, on an early episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians, regarding the professionally-lit sex tape: "As a mother, I wanted to kill her. But as a manager, I knew that I had a job to do.") And we are really, really against the word "momager." Especially when all you are "momaging" is a "career" based solely on amateur porn. Ugh. 6 Bad Reasons To Marry, Starring Khloe Kardashian

Kate Gosselin

Just because you can have eight babies doesn't mean you should be on TV pretending you know anything about parenting. Or dancing. We're beginning to feel like we're repeating ourselves.

Joan Crawford

Crazy-ass Joan Crawford was the bad mother to which all bad mothers should aspire. According to her daughter Christina's 1978 memoir, Mommie Dearest, Joan treated her adopted children more as pets or props than kids, including staging Christmases for TV cameras, and terrorized them over issues as trivial as cleaning their rooms and putting clothes on—gasp—wire hangers.

Courtney Love

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Where do we start? Well, at the beginning. Courtney has admitted that she used heroin while pregnant with Frances Bean Cobain, who's now 17 and lives with her grandmother. Frances also has a restraining order against her mother, who's been acting increasingly erratically lately even as she's released a new album and is attempting to jump-start her music career. In the annals of embarrassing parents, there's your mom picking you up from school in her pajamas, and then there's everything Courtney Love has ever said and done. Egad. Courtney Love Says Ugly Women Are Better Lovers

Those alleged housewife people

We only know a little about these vulgar women Bravo is trying to make happen. We know that they are not "real." We know that some of them are not wives, and certainly none of them have ever done enough manual labor to qualify as a "housewife." We know that one of them likes to flip over tables while screaming. We know that this one's eyes are too far apart and her hair looks like a dead animal and she likes to dress her baby up like it's a shih-tzu. We know that one of them has attempted to have sex with her friend's teenage son. Everything else, we rely on Joel McHale to tell us. But we would prefer to pretend that these wretched beings do not exist. Real Housewife Headed For Real Divorce