The Top 10 Relationship Books Of The 00s

Did you self help your love life this decade? Ten books you might have read.

best relationship book

When compiling this list of the best relationship books of the past decade, some overriding themes were apparent: Men are sex-obsessed cave men. Women are under the mistaken impression that they're living inside a real-life romantic comedy. But true love and soul mates do exist. It's been a confusing decade for the sexes, but we're confident that we'll figure it all out eventually. Here, a list of the ten most iconic relationship books of the '00s.


1. He's Just Not That Into You by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo

The mother of all relationship books was written by Sex and The City scribes Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo. Their advice is simple: Men chase what they want—and will continue to pursue who they want—for as long as they want her. If they're not calling, they obviously don't want you. Stop pining ladies! There are plenty of men out there willing to throw themselves at your feet. Why Didn't He Call Back? Find Out Now

2. Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man by Steve Harvey

On the very first page of comedian Steve Harvey's self-help tome, he writes, "There is no truer statement: men are simple." Which is why we should stop overthinking their every email, text message, and casual gesture. Harvey says that while women look to men to satisfy a number of personal needs, men require only three things in return: support, loyalty and sex. Oddly enough, though, Harvey advises ladies to wait three months before bedding a new flame. You read me right. That's three months, not three dates. 4 Ways Text Messaging Changed Dating


3. Why Him? Why Her? by Helen Fisher

Anthropologist Helen Fisher swiftly and systematically divides all of us into four distinct categories of lovers: The Explorer, who is a novelty-seeking, creative type; the Builder, who is cautious and conventional; the Director, who is aggressive and single-minded; and the Negotiator, who is an empathetic, idealistic talker. Fisher's conceit is that we naturally attract and repel others based upon our type. Discover Your "Type" (It Really Exists)

4. Why Men Love Bitches by Sherry Argov

The provocative title alone has made this best-seller a standout, but the contents are just as audacious. Therein, author Sherry Argov advises women to stop acting desperate, and to start acting as if they are prizes to be won. Men, she says, will believe this, even if you don't, mesmerized as they are by your sexual power. (And your boobs.) Remember, also, to make the chase a lengthy and interesting one for them. The more you play hard to get, the harder they are to get rid of. Do Men Like "the Chase"?


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5. Deal Breakers: When To Work On A Relationship And When To Walk Away by Dr. Bethany Marshall

Psychoanalyst Bethany Marshall advises women to figure out their relationship dealbreakers in advance, and stand by them when evaluating new romantic prospects. That way, you'll never waste your time dating Mr. Oh-So-Wrong. Such advice is never as easy as it sounds. How many times have you overlooked a man's penchant for bar brawls because you were lost in his bedroom eyes? But it pays to be picky. Being discerning will keep you open and available for a guy who truly completes you. How Saying 'No' Will Help You Find Love

6. How To Set His Thighs On Fire: 86 Red Hot Lessons On Love, Life, Men and Especially Sex by Kate White


Kate White, the editor-in-chief of Cosmopolitan, churned out an entire book identical in tone to the glossy that's been giving women sex tips for decades. In true Cosmo form, the book makes both sex and seduction sound similar to the act of trapping a wild animal. White advises women to "tease, tantalize and torture." Fortunately, because of our lifelong subscription to White's mag, we've already been doing that for years!

7. Why Hasn't He Called? by Matt Titus and Tamsen Fadal

A reporter (Tamsen Fadal) and a former, admitted womanizer (Matt Titus) team up to educate women about men. A sample quote from the book: "The minute a man sexually desires a woman, he is completely under her control. A woman's sexuality is the single most powerful thing on earth. It can be a man's Kryptonite." Totally true, though we caution against anyone using sex as a bargaining chip. One should never abuse their superpowers.

8. The Manual: A True Bad Boy Explains How Men Think, Date And Mate—And What Women Can Do To Come Out On Top by Steve Santagati


A self-proclaimed bad boy, Steve Santagati tells us that women are attracted to "naughty" men (no duh) and that, as a result, bad boys spend a lot of time cultivating their bad-boy status. Thank god he's here to help us understand this breed, and to beat them at their own game. Though a part of us suspects that he's just using this book to cement his status as the biggest bad boy of all.

9. Mating In Captivity: Reconciling The Erotic And The Domestic by Esther Perel

In 2006 we finally read a book that spelled out what those in long-term love have known since time began: lust wanes. Esther Perel, a psychotherapist who worked with unhappy or, at least, humdrum couples for years states the obvious—committed relationships are often passion's wet blanket—and proceeds to tell couples how to be both long-term partners and red-hot lovers. Without Perel, we might still be hanging onto the notion that our partners should be our sun, moon, stars, best friends, therapists, and...well, you get the idea. The Key to a Sexy Marriage


10. Finding A Husband At 35: Using What I Learned At Harvard Business School by Rachel Greenwald

After getting her MBA from Harvard, Rachel Greenwald developed a no-nonsense 15-step program for finding love. Her counsel: turn your single self into a brand and use all your available marketing channels (from your doctor to the internet to the coffee shop) until you win over a lifelong consumer, er, husband. Romantic? Nah. Feminist? Not so much. But Greenwald's practical approach to love and relationships serves a welcome, actionable alternative to sitting back and kvetching about the lack of good men out there.

Tell us: what relationship book has been most helpful to you? 


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